Before I Die (2007)

I read about 80 pages of this and just couldn't get into it. It was quite depressing and may have been a matter of timing. However, I couldn't relate to the main character at all and found her to be a very cold narrator. Downham addresses her anger and grief but I just never felt it. I loved the idea of the story but it just didn't resonate with me.

"Alla måste vi dö. Det vet vi. Men sextonåriga Tessa vet det bättre än någon annan. Hon har leukemi och bara några månader kvar att leva. Så hon gör en lista över saker hon vill uppleva innan hon dör.

Innan jag dör handlar om att ta farväl av livet, men lika mycket om att leva det fullt ut. Utan sentimentalitet och med absolut närvaro skildrar Jenny Downham i sin uppmärksammade debutroman den unga Tessas sista månader i livet."

I found this one a little slow to get started, but it definitely improved as it went on, becoming more and more poetic and engaging as the protagonist moves closer to her own death. I think the bucket list works well to tie the book together, especially as Tessa begins to change it, but it meant that the first third or so was more about that than Tessa's feelings and her struggle with terminal leukaemia. I understand the author's choice there, even if it did mean that I didn't connect with her protagonist initially, as there is such a erosive force to the book. The opening chapters are almost manic with action, their prose straightforward and emotionless. By the end, however, even the sentences have fallen apart, just as Tessa's body has. It's very clever.

One negative, though: a first person protagonist dying at the end is a huge pet hate of mine. I wish this ended a fraction before it does! ( )

I really enjoyed this book. Tessa felt so real to me and I can't tell you how many times I just wanted to give her a huge hug or comfort her. I was really glad this wasn't one of those fluffy stories where the person is really sick and by the end of the novel you learn they are okay. It was nice to get to know Tessa through her journey to her final days. Downham has a way of making Tessa's story relatable to teens even if we will never suffer from the same illness or fate as Tessa. Even though the topic is a bit on the sad side, it's a nice read and makes you think for a little while. ( )

Wow. I'm speechless. Like, seriously. ( )