Seventh grader Kyra shoulders a lot of responsibility. Her mom, Meg, has been sober for about five years, but Kyra still does her best to take care of her mom - making sure she has her phone charger, packing her snacks and water, making sure she wakes up on time, and even sometimes helping with her Meg the Maid cleaning services. Meanwhile, Kyra worries that something is off with her mom lately, and something is definitely off with her best friend Lu, who has become friends with some eighth graders and doesn't seem eager to bring Kyra into their social group. (Lu's dad is an alcoholic, also; Lu and her older sister Casey live with their mom and stepdad Steve, who is Kyra's mom's old friend.) Kyra, Casey, and Lu all attend a support group for kids of alcoholics, and group helps, but when Meg stops going to her own groups and stops talking to her sponsor, Kyra knows something is wrong - and she's right.

Achingly realistic portrayal of what kids of alcoholics live with, as well as how friendships change in middle school. But Kyra does have help and support, and Meg resolves to recover from her "slips."

Quotes

I used to like it when Mom would say aloud what I was thinking in my head. It was like she was in my thoughts with me. Lately I don't like that so much. I want to have my thoughts and feel like they're all mine instead of as though we're always sharing them. (24)

HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired (avoid getting into emotional topics) (29)

"I love you, honey."
She does? How? She doesn't know me. (phone call with Grandma, 61)

It's just a bad feeling, watching your best friend become best friends with someone else, and being too scared of pushing them away even more to say anything about it....It feels like a secret we both know but won't say. (84)

Is life never fun for her now that she doesn't drink? I mean, it's not that fun for me, either, but not every day can feel like vacation. (120)

In group we've talked about trying not to interpret silence, that just because someone is quiet doesn't mean anything bad....The other thing I know from group is that it's not my job to change someone else's mood. (126)

The worry is a fruit fly that keeps reappearing after I thought I killed it. (144)

"I don't think people know how much better it feels to just talk about the one thing you're not supposed to talk about." (Owen, at group, 180)

"No one person can be everything. We all need enough people who are each good at being a friend in their own way. No one has to be the best." (Mom to Kyra, 189) ( )

Thanks to the author & HarperCollins Children’s Books for a gifted copy. All comments and opinions are my own.

I truly enjoyed this poignant, honest, and beautifully written story about a seventh grader who is an only child of a single mom in recovery. The story is told in the first person, which provides evocative realism as Kyra worries about her mom’s sobriety.

In addition to worrying about her mom, Kyra has several issues she’s dealing with, so she reminds herself “It’s okay to dream and have hope.” Then she thinks: “But it’s hard to dream and have hope when your best friend has new best friends who don’t even know her, and your mom might be relapsing but you’re afraid to ask, and the one person you mostly want to talk to is the same one with all those new best friends.”

The story focuses on the concerns of middle grade issues – popularity, friendships, clothing, body image, bullying, homework. Kyra is old enough to be home alone, but at the same time she still needs more supervision and reassurance than her mother provides. In fact, she realizes that she is often the one caring for her mother – preparing meals and grocery shopping, reminding her mom to charge her phone, waking her up in the mornings. On some level she knows this isn’t how her life should be, with her taking on so many adult responsibilities.

I liked the way the author uses the cooking analogy to describe Kyra’s wish for order and predictability. When she cooks, she says “I clean up first. That’s how real chefs do it: they start with a clean kitchen and keep a tidy work area. Also, they lay out all the ingredients instead of taking them out as they go. You don’t want to find out halfway through a recipe you don’t have everything you need. I wish life could be like that. With a tidy system and a way to make sure you have what you need for any given situation and a clean area before and after.”

Kyra’s voice stayed in my head both while reading the novel as well as after I finished. The author writes from personal experience, which gives the story authenticity and will resonate with its intended young audience as well as adults.

I'm an enthusiastic fan of Sara Zarr and couldn't wait to read this book from the time I first heard about it. In the interest of full disclosure, I have known Sara since she was ten years old. I hope my five-star rating encourages you to read this powerful yet sensitive story of a young girl learning about herself, life, and family. ( )