Mænd er fra Mars, kvinder er fra Venus : to køn, to sprog, to verdener :… (1992)

«Crediamo tutti di conoscere le persone che amiamo»: così Pearlie Cook comincia a raccontarci gli incredibili sei mesi che sono stati, per il suo matrimonio, una sorta di inesorabile lastra ai raggi X. Siamo nel 1953, in un quartiere appartato e nebbioso di ex militari ai margini di San Francisco, e tutto nella vita dei Cook parla ancora della guerra: la salute cagionevole di Holland, i ricordi tormentati di lei, le loro abitudini morigerate e un po’ grigie. Una vita per il resto normalissima, come sottolinea la voce ammaliante di Pearlie – mentre la sua testa scoppia di pensieri che forse, via via che si disvelano, preferiremmo non ascoltare. Eppure li leggiamo con avidità, rassicurati dal fatto che lei, palesemente, ha intenzione di dirci proprio tutto. Perché, allora, ci sentiamo invadere da un’ansia arcana, da un senso di vertigine e di smarrimento, come davanti a certe atmosfere torve di Edgar Allan Poe? Non solo per il susseguirsi di colpi di scena che ci avvincono a ogni riga sino a condurci all’unico finale davvero imprevedibile. Non solo per l’uomo venuto dal passato, per la lettera che colpisce come un pugno, per i terribili segreti che si dischiudono a uno a uno... Sarà allora per la dolorosa lucidità con cui la narratrice riesce a indagare la distanza che separa ciascuno di noi dagli altri? O perché a ogni pagina ci chiediamo: come fa Pearlie a sapere tutte queste cose – di noi?

Classic, indeed! This book has been collecting dust in my library for over 20 years. Recently a friend asked to borrow it, and I idly scanned its contents to refresh my memory before passing it on to her.

First, I would like to say I’m not even a feminist but this book is so politically incorrect in stereotyping genders I can’t believe it is still getting decent reviews.

The entire premise is based on John Gray’s theory that all women and men fit snuggly into categories of certain behavior. Men are basically strong, silent, problem solvers. They like to go into their man-cave and ponder life. The want to be needed. Their biggest fear is that women will not appreciate them, or worse - try to change them.

On the other hand, women are emotional people and not necessarily in a hurry to solve problems. They just like to talk about problems. They want emotional support and open communication.

The book offers many suggestions how to deal with different situations. It doesn’t suggest how to solve problems but merely offers methods to enhance communication and avoid arguments.

The solution boils down to a warning for women to never-never-never offer your male companion un-asked for advice – even if he is about to make a major mistake, or put himself in danger – and never force him to talk when he’s not in the mood. And, all you men out there – just sit quietly and listen to your woman and validate her feelings. Don’t offer solutions to her problems – just listen. Could this possibly lead to a more honest, sincere, intimate relationship? Life should be so simple!

Thank goodness I don’t have marital problems because I would hate to rely on John Gray’s advice.

I did ask my friend her opinion of "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus" when she returned the book, and she basically made the same observation. She also recalled reading it many years ago, and concluded that it was a waste of time to read it again. She didn’t need a “self help” book to remind her that some controversial topics are just off limits. ( )

PArts of it make complete sense.. others dont! ( )

Hombres y mujeres parecen proceder de distintos planetas. Son biológicamente similares, usan las mismas palabras, comparten el mismo espacio geográfico; pero sus códigos de comportamiento, su idioma (lo que quieren expresar con sus palabras), sus valores existenciales... son distintos. Esta obra es tanto una guía para la comprensión de las actitudes y palabras del sexo opuesto como una propuesta para minimizar desde una perspectiva afectivamente positiva las consecuencias de los desencuentros. Un libro, pues, absolutamente necesario para quienes, viviendo en pareja o con deseos de hacerlo, quieren dar y obtener lo máximo de su amor

I received a recommendation for this book after I left a long relationship of several years, to learn from the "mistakes" that were in the system, that was the plot of the recommender.

In a very subjective view, it is challenging to read this book; he very much emphasizes the fact that women and men are different in the line of thought and even gives advice on how to behave with the other side. The ethical question is whether we are all alike to contain the functional vocabulary offered by the book? I recommend taking life tips not only in relationships between men and women but every relationship as well. Listen to the other side and not be ashamed to ask him to repeat it. It's not just that a man is different from a woman, but that we are different people from each other. The writer recommends towards the end of the book to write feelings, write desires, take out a page before we rush to get mad on the other side - it's an excellent idea. Then Let the page for some months and see that apart from the fact that people are different but that we are also changing. Men are different from women. It is true. There is a fundamental biological aspect that later explains the environmental impact to truly understand the difference and accept it patiently rather than in form.

All in all, the book is amiable and provides a perspective on the opposite sex to those who lack it. ( )