Kamal Al-SolayleeAnmeldelser

The author was born in Yemen in the 1960s. He was the youngest of 11 siblings and was only 3 years old when the family moved to Beirut (Lebanon), then not long after, they moved to Cairo (Egypt), where he spent his years growing up, and figuring out that he was gay. Most of the family eventually headed back to Yemen, but long before then, Kamal knew he had to get out of the Middle East. He yearned to go to England or the US, where he felt he would be able to be himself and not hide. He managed a scholarship to study in England, and from there, he eventually made his way to Canada.

This covered the 1960s (when the people of Yemen and Egypt were relatively free and not so constrained by religion) up to and including 2011. As Kamal yearned to leave, he hated to leave his mother and sisters behind, the way women were being treated by the time he got out. Some of his brothers had gone fervently religious, too much for Kamal’s liking. He tried to not look back on his life there, and even speaking to his family was difficult, as he was still hiding who he really was and it reminded him of how bad things were in the country he was born in. As things got worse in the Middle East, and in Yemen in particular with a civil war happening in 2011, he did seek out news from home.

This was really good. It was also very interesting, to read the cultural differences between the Middle Eastern countries he lived in and the Western countries. As a Canadian myself, it was really nice to see how accepted he was in Canada (Toronto, though I am from the West), regardless of his nationality and his sexual orientation. Completely not book-related, but as someone who has taken bellydance classes off and on, I had to take a brief break from reading to look up a famous Egyptian bellydancer his father hired to perform at one of his sisters’ weddings.

I read this book as part of the Canada Reads Book of the month. We are reading the Canada Reads books. I was quite glad I picked this one up.

Kamal Al-Solaylee was the youngest of 11 children born to Yemeni parents. His father was a business man who was involved in real estate in Aden, Yemen. When the socialists took over, they lost all their property and were driven out. They ended up in Beruit, followed by Egypt. The family moved as racial tensions rose and unemployment for his siblings occurred. They finally ended up back in Northern Yemin in Sanaa'a. The story tells of the hardships and poverty the family and other Yemenis endured. Kamal, as a gay man, was also in fear all the time. His brothers began to embrace Islam and the freedom the family had in the past as a non-secular family was erased. Kamal eventually emigrated to Canada, where he wrote this book to connect with his roots, his family and to move forward in his life. Very touching and educating.

A powerful and informative book about race and racism. I hope this book is read widely because the subject matter is something that Canadians can't simply shrug away, especially with the political climate the way it is.

A beautifully-written memoir that explores the author's childhood in the Middle East, the increasing influence of conservatism and political instability on his daily life, his immigration to Canada, and his experiences as a gay man. Caught between his home in the West and his family's home in Yemen, Kamal Al-Solaylee explores identity and belonging in this compelling book.

Great memoir!

One of the good things about Canada Reads is that it brings to my attention Canadian books that would otherwise escape my attention. I am really glad that this book was one of the ones nominated for the finals in 2015 because I found it a fascinating tale.

Kamal Al-Solaylee was the youngest child of 11 raised by an Anglophile Muslim man and an illiterate former shepherdess. Kamal's father was a real estate tycoon in Aden and his family had many luxuries. That all came crashing down after the British pulled out of Yemen and the family had to move to Beirut. Refusing to believe that the loss of his income-producing properties was permanent Kamal's father installed the family in a large and expensive apartment. Then sectarian violence forced the family to leave and they went to Cairo. Some money from bank accounts in England was available but with rising costs it was necessary for the older children to go to work and help support the family. Cairo at this time was a moderate community and the young women in the family wore makeup, went out on their own and even posed in bikinis when they went to beaches on the Mediterranean. The oldest son was the first convert to fundamentalism--he went to prayers 5 times a day, thought women should be covered from head to toe and wanted to move back to Yemen. Slowly but surely changes occurred in how the women dressed and where they went and eventually it was decided to move to Sana'a in Yemen. The author, having realized his sexual preference was other men, feared returning to Yemen because the punishment for being gay was flogging or death. He had no choice but to return for a while but he did manage to get a scholarship to an English university to study English literature. That was the start of his freedom from the fundamentalism sweeping Arab nations. He saw his parents and siblings forced to make changes to their lifestyle which was particularly hard for the females. As a momma's boy it was difficult for him to turn his back on his mother but he knew it was the only way he could survive. Although he deprecates his scholarly accomplishments Kamal has a Master's degree and a Ph. D. in English literature.

He felt he had to immigrate to a country where his religion, nationality and sexuality would not be a problem. Australia, New Zealand, USA and Canada were all acceptable to him but Canada gave him the easiest time so he moved to Toronto. The dedication of the book is:
"To Toronto, for giving me what I've been looking for: a home."

I am always fascinated by learning the stories of people who immigrate to Canada. It was a long time ago that my ancestors came here and I have never known what propelled them. This book is one story only but it presents an interesting perspective.

Just finished a book for bookclub, [intolerable A Memoir of Extremes] by [[Kamal Al-Solaylee]]. It is one of the books selected for this years Canada Reads book elimination . Off the top, I don't seem to be attracted to memoirs except those that if are funny and clever i.e. [Bossypants] by [[Tina Fey]], or [[Nora Ephron's]] wonderful books. Clearly this book is not funny so that was a bit of a strike against it. It is the story of a man telling his family and personal story of moves from Aden, Yemen to Beirut to Cairo back to Yemen this time Sana'a then to England for an M.A. and PhD then to Toronto where he remains. The period is 70's through to 2011. He is attached to a very large family but effortfully pursueing independence from them and sorting his sexuality as a gay man in countries where this is very difficult.
The story is immersed in his single minded focus, and looks at the contrast of the Muslim and Western world. In his story he portrays the huge deterioration of rights for woman in these countries over the time described which is extremely uncomfortable (horrifying) for me. The family in Yemen experiences decline medically, in physical and mental health, and economically as the family tries to hold together. His mother is often depicted as a "slave" to the kitchen feeding 13 people and illiterate. This is mentioned over and over and I felt she was never given the respect that she was due. The women live in the shadows and are subservient which is a world that I find extremely offensive.

quotes
p.. 120 The gender apartheid operated outside and inside with equal rigour.

This is a coming-of-age memoir by a Muslim man growing up in Yemen, Egypt and Lebanon. His life is shaped by the rising of fundamentalist Islam, and by the fact that he is gay. He watches the freedoms his family once enjoyed disappear over time, especially for his sisters, as attitudes towards women harden. He fears for his own ability to live as a gay man in such a society.

The author talks about the growing distance -- physical and emotional -- between him and his family as he pursues studies in England and employment in Canada. He writes with brutal honesty about his feelings, including those that could be perceived as selfish. Yet, I often sensed a certain distance or lack of passion in the writing that had me working to maintain my sympathy for the author and the real challenges he faced. I need to think more about this one!

This memoir from journalist and university professor Al-Solaylee is on the 2013 Ontario Library Association's Evergreen list and is about his experiences growing up in the Middle East. He documents the stark contrast between the liberal and cosmopolitan society of his childhood, where women were comfortable wearing bikinis and Western films were popular, and the oppressive environment that developed as the religious fundamentalists took control.
In this well-paced and very readable memoir, the author talks honestly about his experiences and feelings, and in particular, the fears and frustrations related to his being a homosexual in a country where this could result in imprisonment or even execution. He acknowledges that the situation is even more difficult for his sisters, whose freedoms had been curtailed even more drastically.

Al-Solaylee describes how he escaped Yemen, continued his education in England and eventually settled in Canada. My favourite line in the book is the following. On contemplating his lack of material wealth during his first years in Canada, he writes, "I could live well as a poor man in Toronto because my life was enriched by many other things: from public libraries to public broadcasting to the many parks and free art galleries." Many of us who grew up in North America never lacked such things and take them for granted. Al-Solaylee, who did not have these riches and freedoms in his youth, reminds me of how lucky we are.