Slapstick, unfunny humour. Paper-thin characters. Metzger is hit and miss, and this one's a miss. ( )

Such a promising beginning! Then, ugh, it became Weekend at Bernie's. That is what another reviewer said, but exactly what I was thinking at the time. The hero was immature and inconsiderate, but he did grow up somewhat. The little speech he gave to the heroine during his proposal at the end was wonderful. For that and the good beginning, I bumped up my rating to 3 stars, but I wouldn't really recommend this book. ( )

"Lady Whilton's Wedding" starts as a proper Regency: Daphne and Graydon are engaged as children; Graydon grows into a handsome man, goes off to sow his wild seeds in London. He forgets about Daphne; Daphne loves Graydon steadfastly. Daphne grows into acharming and gracious beauty; heads off to London for her season, and discovers her supposed fiance's penchant for other women and gambling. She calls off the engagement.

Graydon discovers how much he loves the Daphne once she's jilted him (it's that easy!). He goes off to war to lick his wounds and Daphne retires to the country, heartbroken. Meanwhile, the romance between Graydon's father (a widower) and Daphne's mother (a widow) proceeds apace and soon enough the two are getting married: hence Lady Whilton's (Daphne's mother's) wedding.

Voila. The stage is set. Graydon is home from war; he has to attend his father's wedding; he and Daphne are bound to meet again. What will happen?

As it turns out, what happens is that the evil Uncle Albert happens to die just before the wedding can take place. Daphne finds out and determines to hide the body until after the wedding, because if the Uncle's death is announced promptly her family will have to go into mourning and her mother's happiness will be postponed. Not worth it, thinks Daphne, Evil Uncle Albert doesn't deserve that kind of respect, or her mother that kind of suffering.

And thus begins the book's second narrative, and the forward momentum that carries it forward: hiding the body. Any number of perfectly ridiculous accidents and mischances have Uncle Albert's body heading here and there, being lost and found, stolen and replaced.

The body-statching also provides an opportunity for the hero and heroine to get to know one another again on new terms, as co-conspirators. Hence, the romance re-kindles.

The book itself is...well, competent I'd say. It's written lightly, confidently, with finesse; but the characters are so thinly fleshed out that without the constant forward momentum of the missing-body gag there would be nothing to it at all. Most of the secondary characters (Daphne's mother, Graydon's father, the butler, etc.,) are extremely one-dimensional, i.e., one dimensional enough to give Daphne and Graydon the illusion of depth.

I found the romance itself extremely unsatisfying. Daphne, having retired to the country, is choosing between Graydon - a potential philanderer - and a stick in the mud with no respect for women. Graydon is palatable by contrast; but rather than wishing Daphne with Graydon, I wished she'd go back to London and hunt down a new suitor.

Graydon, for his part - I found his turnaround unconvincing. I didn't think he had very much depth of emotion about anything, let alone Daphne, and he came across as glib to me. The nail in the coffin was when he kept sending Daphne little gifts with messages that said only "she's not my mistress" (referring to a former mistress who ends up at the wedding by mistake). I don't know how this is romantic to anybody; it's a pretty measly declaration. I could go on about why I think this is the very opposite of a grand gesture (to me it reeks of somebody buying flowers at the supermarket on the way home, to sweeten an insincere apology), but I suppose it's a matter of taste. Mine went sour.

I'm giving the book three stars because even if it lacks the spark of life or even the merest hint of erotic intensity, it was a passable read and intricately assembled. ( )