Were you bullied when you were a kid? Did your favorite daydream back then involve some farfetched scenario in which you got even with the bully who took such pleasure in tormenting you - preferably by causing that bully at least twice the amount of physical pain and mental anguish you suffered at his hands? Well, friend, I have just the book for you.

Steven Drew Goldberg's "One Last Thing to Do before I Die" is a dark comedy, one that will have you laughing out loud despite the fact its main character, Max Wiseman, is determined to kill himself as soon as he can. Max, a young NYC prosecutor, might seem to have it all. He, after all, is worth every bit of ten million dollars and he works some of New York's highest profile criminal prosecutions. He drives a $100,000 car and tells time by a $10,000 watch. Come on, he can look out his apartment window and see the Statue of Liberty. Can it get much better than this? Max will argue that, yes, it surely can - and it should.

Max, although he is not particularly religious, does have one guiding principle upon which he centers his life: The Golden Rule, a simple but solid premise with great potential for good. Unfortunately for Max, very few of the people he encounters every day seem to have even heard of that rule, much less practice it, and he has grown weary of living in a world where his most common thought is, "What is wrong with people?" He sees little chance that his future years will be any happier than the ones he has already suffered through, so he is ready to end it all now. But Max has one last thing to do before he makes his dramatic exit - find Derrick Frankenmeyer, the jerk that, as a twelve-year-old, terrorized the younger and much smaller Max Wiseman for several weeks during what turned out to be Max's personal summer camp from hell.

For readers, if not for Max, getting there is half the fun. Along the way to confront his personal bogeyman, Max will have adventures and misadventures in Houston, Albuquerque, a remote farm in Oklahoma, and along old Route 66. He will be forced to deal with enough illogical airline clerks, rent-a-car clerks and hotel clerks to last a lifetime, so many, in fact, that he grows more certain that killing himself is the only way to go. The real question is what will happen when he finally catches up with the infamous Derrick Frankenmeyer. And not even Max knows the answer to that.

This one is great fun, my fellow bully-victims. I only wish the bullies of the world could read well enough to learn something from "One Last Thing to Do before I Die," too. (Just kidding, bullies...)

Rated at: 4.0 ( )

Whether you think Max Wiseman is a likable or deplorable character is almost a secondary topic in this richly woven thematic story. It’s not a simple matter of like or dislike, agree or disagree, but rather a philosophical journey towards understanding and ultimately, acceptance. The main character is a vessel through which greater questions and self-reflection of both individual and universal shortcomings of society emerge. In this contemporary novel, a pro-suicide argument is made and based on the character’s perspective, seems to be a rational and appropriate ending. Also, the incorporation of media’s influence on culture is cleverly used and supports Earl’s theory that this generation’s depression or disillusionment stems from images of how we think things should be, rather than how things truly are. In addition, through the tedious and outright hilarious preparations and travels leading up to the last thing Max must do before he dies, certain realizations come to light. Human beings in general are cliché. We tend to repeat behavior, respond and speak in particular ways and patterns whether we want to admit it or not. We have the propensity to be self-righteous and hypocritical. Even though most of us would like to change, we seldom will and if we do, it will not be terribly drastic because it is not in our nature or habit. To deny this is naive and irrational. Sure, we can give money to a charity and recycle, but most people during their lifetime will not experience a grand epiphany, and if they claim to, they will make only subtle changes. This is a truth most of us can live with, but Max cannot. In this story, change takes place and slight epiphanies occur, but nothing so monumental that it ultimately changes Max’s course or perspective of the world. Some might find this disappointing, but I believe it lends credibility to Max’s argument (he is a lawyer after all), and further cements his decision. I applaud Goldberg for sticking to the right and only final course for this particular character. Besides, it’s the first book in a long time that actually made me laugh out loud!

Perhaps the rants and redundant explanations carry on a bit long, but I found them hilarious. If you’re looking for a happy ending you might wish for an alternate outcome. Some might find it hard to live with the one they get.

Recommend to readers who are fans of Chuck Palahniuk and A.M. Homes (This Book Will Save Your Life). ( )