This memoir, written by a Scottish journalist, is a grim but honest account of what it is like to be a caretaker for older relatives, but especially with someone who is spiraling down into Alzheimer's disease. I'm not sure why I chose to read it (my father had dementia before his passing, but not Alzheimer's). It was difficult to get through but I finished it. I awarded it 3/5 stars, mainly for the author's perseverance in keeping a journal and committing to writing this book. I am basing this rating on my reaction to the story and my trouble with the subject matter, not the author's talent, nor her ability to make it through those couple of horrifying years. The difficulty for Ms. Gillies was that her father-in-law was confined to a wheelchair and was so depressed that he parked himself in front of the tv while the other family members dealt with his wife's severe dementia and physical limitations. She works from home as a writer (or tried to) and her husband has a career that had him traveling at times. They also have 3 children who must have had a tremendously difficult time dealing with all the emotional scenes at home.

I would have been satisfied with just a short story about this time in the author's family's life. It was hard to stomach the scenes dealing with the lack of hygiene and memory that her mother-in-law lost to this illness, which caused her to need to be cared for as a newborn baby would. The older woman needed to be reassured of the same things over and over, due to permanent short term memory loss-- and she would frequently become agitated--cursing at or smacking her grandchildren. All in all, I commend Ms. Gillies for writing this, and for being such an angel in caring for her husband's parents. We never know our own strength until we are put in certain circumstances, but I was left feeling depressed after finishing this story.

I did enjoy, and very highly recommend, Lisa Genova's novel about a professor going through Alzheimer's at a young age: Still Alice . ( )

Andrea Gillies es una periodista británica que decidió dejarlo todo para dedicarse a cuidar a su suegra, Nancy, con principios de alzhéimer, en una vieja casa en el norte de Escocia. Las amapolas del olvido es el relato estremecedor, enternecedor, maravillosamente bien narrado, de su experiencia como cuidadora, como persona que se dedica íntegramente al bienestar de otro y a intentar ayudarle a vivir y a morir. La historia de Andrea y Nancy y su día a día (unas veces cómico, otras trágico) compone un extraordinario diario novelado que incluye reflexiones sobre el ser, la falta de pasado o el funcionamiento de la mente y alberga toda una lección de humanidad.

En este libro, la periodista Andrea Gillies nos cuenta, en primera persona, el extraordinario amor y dedicación de ella hacia su suegra cuando le diagnosticaron Alzhéimer. Nos cuenta sus quehaceres diarios con ella, su día a día, para que comprendamos este tipo de dolencia y sobre todo, aprendamos a querer y respetar a quienes, por desgracia, lo padecen. Toda una lección de cariño, respeto y humanidad.

Keeper by Andrea Gillies is a thorough look at the emotional and financial cost of caring for a person with Alzheimer's that includes a good bit of writing about the science behind the disease. I came away from it thinking that good institutions really are the best place for people so afflicted. In the case of Gillies' mother in law, Nancy wanted constant motion. Gillies could have spent a solid 5 hours caring for her, trying to amuse her taking her on walks and to a restaurant for apple pie, but when they got home and Gillies put Nancy in a chair and went to make coffee upon her return Nancy was bemoaning the fact that she never did anything with her life but sit in a chair. She never got to go anywhere. Like the man in the movie Memento Nancy had no short term memory, she was unable to make new memories, and she really had no idea what had happened in her life 10 minutes ago. She was also losing her long term memory and worse yet, her emotional control. She was verbally and physically abusive of everyone in the family, suspicious, dirty (she would dump her whole dinner, or worse yet, the contents of her toilet in the bookcase). Being in a home with others and constant care gave her the stimulation and discipline she needed. Gillies complains of finally succumbing to "Caregiver Dementia" herself, she was deeply depressed and thought of death, her children knew Granny had dementia but still couldn't help but be hurt when she attacked them. This is no way for people to live, but we put such praise toward people who are willing, and able, to keep their older loved ones at home we don't see that this is not always the best situation for anyone. Not a cheerful book, but a very honest one. It won both the 2009 Wellcome Trust Book Prize, the United Kingdom's popular science writing award and the 2010 Orwell Prize. I can see why. ( )

So many memoirs suffer from simplistic writing, a lack of reflection, or anger that reflects not enough emotional distance from the memories.
This memoir has none of those problems, which is amazing considering the difficulty of Gillies' subject - two or more years of living with and caring for her mother in law with severe Alzheimers. The writing is beautiful, starkly honest, unafraid of all the grim details of the illness. She's in touch with all her own feelings, including anger, but she's able to transform these feelings into art.
So many memoirs also fall down when the writers try to integrate their research into the story, so that every other chapter becomes a dry recitation. Somehow Gillies avoids this too. The whole book is engrossing, powerful - one of the best memoirs I've ever read. ( )