I really admire Martha Beck for publishing this story, even though she knew ahead of time that still faithful Mormons would do anything to deny it, spread gossip, and try to discredit her, which is what happened. She overcame abuse and ostracism, and is now helping many people on their Spiritual (not religious) quest.
I read this book, because I am curious about the spiritual paths of other women, especially when it is different from what they are raised with. Since these people need to think deeply about their own spiritual philosophy, they have to dig deeper than those who stay in what they have been raised with.
That is a spiritual journey in itself. A journey which a human being needs to go independently. No one has the exact same way of thinking and believing as someone else.
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I first heard of this book around the time it was published. I wanted to read it to learn more about Mormonism, so when it (finally) turned up at my library, I checked it out. I thought the emphasis would be on Mormonism, and why and how the author left. To a certain extent it was, and I did learn a bit about the more arcane practices of the church, but I think the book was primarily about the sexual abuse the author suffered at the hands of her father starting when she was about 5 years old. Her father was a prominent leader (and apologist) for the church, and the author's accusations have been violently condemned by the church and most members of her family. That said, I tend to believe her about the sexual abuse allegations, although there are several other factors that have led me to question certain aspects of this book.

First, there's a lot of "new agey" "woo-woo" stuff in the book. She's had and she describes lots of magical-seeming epiphanies she has experienced over the years, seeing the light, hearing voices etc. These things didn't convince me of much, and in fact raised suspicions. I was really impatient with this aspect of the book.

Also, although the book seems mostly truthful, looking into it further, there seems to be a lot she withheld. For example, around the time the book was published she and her husband divorced, yet in the book he is presented as her soulmate for life, fully supportive of her. He has in fact published a review of the book discounting some of the events described (although he himself left the Mormon church before she did). In the book, there is no hint of conflict. There must have been some on-going conflict with her husband during the time period covered by this book since a divorce immediately ensued, yet there is nothing in the book to indicate a marriage in trouble.

I also didn't particularly like her style of writing. She writes of serious matters frequently with a humor embued with sarcasm that I sometimes found a bit coy and grating. I believe that she has gone on to become a "life coach" (somehow "endorsed" by Oprah), and maybe that's a tone that appears in her other writings. An example, "My mother kept grinding away at the one occupation recommended for Mormon females: breeding well in captivity."

All in all, I'm not sorry I read this, but I'm wondering if there is a better book out there on the topic.

2 1/2 stars ( )

Both stars are for the quality of writing. Martha Beck is a very funny and good writer. I might even add one more star for controversy, as Martha's husband, John, has given her a 1-star Amazon review (and a surprising revelation: they're divorced). As far as anti-Mormon books go, I've read much better. Reading this novel is an exercise in unreliable narration, which may sound like criticism but in my world it's something that I thoroughly enjoy. Anyway. Here's John's review. Caveat Emptor:

"675 of 841 people found the following review helpful:
Discrepancies, May 8, 2005
By John Beck (Phoenix AZ) - See all my reviews

"This review is from: Leaving the Saints: How I Lost the Mormons and Found My Faith (Hardcover)
I've been asked by many people to give my views on this book since I am one of only five people actually named in the book: three of them are my children and too young at the time to comment on the veracity of the book; the other named person is Martha and her view is expressed in 320 pages.

"Before you read my comments, you should understand that Martha and I are divorced and have not lived as husband and wife for over ten years. Martha may argue that I am writing this review out of spite. I am not. Without my consent, I am made to feel like an accomplice in her accusations and her anger; I'm not comfortable with how that makes me look to my friends and family. By dint of her profession, she has a national audience ready to believe in her story. Others who are described (often unflatteringly) in this book have little or no access to the court of public opinion.

"Let me describe two topics in the book that bother me the most: the way my parents were portrayed and the "Mormon Response" to my leaving the church.

"One of the most hurtful discrepancies in the book is the way she describes my parents. She reports that my mother and father came to our house the day after my appearance on television (not true, it was a couple of days later) and in the midst of much small talk Martha inferred that my parents were telling me that they still loved me. Here's how it really went. My mother walked in the door gave me a hug before she even had her coat off and with tears in her eyes said "I don't agree with your decision, but you are my son and I want you to know that I will always love you." It was one of the most touching and important moments in my life. I will always love and respect my mother for her forthrightness and willingness to so openly forgive me even though I had done something so hurtful to her.

"My experience of the Mormon response to my leaving the church is also rather different from the one I read in this book. While I left the church even before Martha (and arguably more publicly), I personally never received one threatening phone call or note. I never even saw any of Martha's. While I remember Martha talking about one crank phone call, she received; I do not remember that the caller threatened to "dis-member" us. Nor did Martha show or talk to me about the copy of a "blood red" Antichrist note she writes about receiving. I never took any precautions against such "threats" because I never heard about them. Perhaps she did receive them, but said nothing to me about them.

"When I did leave the church, I did it for principally spiritual reasons. I was never ostracized by my friends or colleagues. Two of my close friends at that time were sons of top Mormon officials-they remain colleagues to this day. I had many discussions with Mormon co-workers, family members, and even old high school friends in the days and months that followed the public disclosure that I had "left the church." People wanted to understand, but none of them shunned me. Neighbors were sometimes socially uncomfortable and didn't know how to react to me when I wasn't going to church on Sundays; some of them expressed their differences of opinion with my decision. But I still have many, many Mormon friends."
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I found her writing to be funny, honest and witty.

Martha Beck, daughter of a high ranking Mormon family left Utah to go to Harvard. When she returns home, a place she feels will be an easier and more welcoming environment that Cambridge to raise her son with Downs Syndrome, she "discovers" that her father has brutally abused her as a child.

I have read so much about her case, and many rebuttal's by family members, that I have a hard time believing everything that was written. That said, it was a good read. ( )

“Your religion is crazy!”

Growing up the daughter of an infamous Mormon apologist can’t be easy; doubly so when you’re raised in a cloistered, uber-evangelical conservative Mormon community in Provo, Utah. Just ask Martha Nibley Beck, whose now-deceased father Hugh Nibley made a career out of twisting (and sometimes even fudging) the facts for the Mormon church.

In LEAVING THE SAINTS, Beck remembers her child- and young adulthood. One of eight children, Beck and her siblings lived in near-poverty. Though her father was well-respected in Mormon circles, an academic job at Brigham Young University (BYU) is considered “God’s work” – and thus is its own reward, with an appropriately paltry salary. Beck married her husband John at a young age (twenty-one – that’s old maid in Mormon years!), and the two left Provo so that Beck could attend Harvard, where she eventually earned a PhD in sociology. The two returned to Provo after the birth of their second child, Adam, who has Down Syndrome; Beck felt that her choice to have Adam would be met with greater support in Provo. While living in Provo, Beck finished her thesis at Harvard, gave birth to her third child, and took a part-time teaching job at BYU. Within three years, Beck experienced repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse; soldiered through academic repression and intellectual purges at BYU; and, along with her husband, resigned from BYU, left the Mormon church, and fled from Provo. (Though it’s not revealed in LEAVING THE SAINTS, both Mr. and Mrs. Beck later divorced and “came out” as homosexuals.)

Beck’s most contentious claim is that her father sexually abused her from the ages of five to eight. The feminist in me tends to believe women when they say they were sexually assaulted, abused or raped: the rate of false reports of sexual assault are no higher than that of other crimes; the rates of report, investigation, prosecution and conviction in sexual assault cases are notoriously low, i.e., victims are unlikely to report such crimes and, when they do, the likelihood that they’ll find justice is nil; and, finally, such cases are rife with victim-blaming, such that women who report sexual assault are put on trial themselves. Given these circumstances, I find it highly improbable that most women would simply “make up” stories of sexual assault, for whatever reason.

However, I also find recovered memories suspect, particularly if they’re recovered during psychotherapy. Elsewhere, Beck says that, while she did undergo psychotherapy, this was only after her repressed memories began to resurface. Additionally, physical evidence (including extensive vaginal scarring) does point to past trauma. Beck also claims to have elicited a confession of sorts from her mother when she initially told her of the abuse. Unlike the childhood memories of sexual abuse, it’s unlikely that Beck’s mind manufactured this memory; so either she’s lying or she isn’t. Though her mother later recanted, this might be easily explained both by Mormon culture and the fact that Mrs. Nibley is wholly dependent on her husband for support.

Whether you believe Beck’s recovered memories to be real or not, LEAVING THE SAINTS is nevertheless a fascinating look at the Mormon religion and culture. Unlike older religions like Christianity and Islam, Mormonism is so young that it’s been documented – extensively - in modern history. Contemporary news reports reveal founder Joseph Smith as a con artist and fraud, and his own accounts of church teachings and personal revelations show that he was also an egotist and philanderer. For this reason, I find Mormonism (and similar “young” “religions” like Scientology) remarkably interesting. (Full disclosure: I’m a heathen vegan feminist.)

Most of the exposes I’ve read previously have focused on fundamentalist, breakaway Mormon sects which still practice plural marriages (see, for example, Jon Krakauer’s UNDER THE BANNER OF HEAVEN). In contrast, LEAVING THE SAINTS looks at mainstream Mormonism – and reveals it to be just as wacky, dysfunctional and misogynist as the excommunicated cults. For example, Beck’s account of a women’s forum held at BYU, which she moderated shortly before leaving the church, is jaw-dropping – and actually has one Mormon scholar blaming children for their own sexual abuse!

Beck recounts her journey – leaving the saints and finding her faith – in a series of flashbacks, interspersed with a conversation/confrontation she had with her elderly father in a hotel room shortly before writing LEAVING THE SAINTS. Beck is a master story teller, and though the reader can posit a guess early on as to the source of Beck’s trauma, the details are no less surprising once Beck’s repressed memories come flooding back with ferocity. As an atheist, I had some trouble relating to Beck’s spiritual journey, but these sections are written beautifully, and non-practicing religious/New Age readers will no doubt enjoy Beck’s quest for a more intrinsic, less prescribed sort of faith.

http://www.easyvegan.info/2009/04/20/leaving-the-saints-by-martha-beck/ ( )