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Only Human (1999)

af Tom Holt

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378567,482 (3.27)13
Something is about to go wrong. Very wrong. What do you expect if the Supreme Being decides to get away from it all for a few days, leaving his naturally inquisitive son to look after the cosmic balance of things? A minor hiccup with a human soul and a welding machine soon leads to a violent belch, and before you know it the human condition - not to mention the lemming condition - is tumbling down the slippery slope to chaos.… (mere)
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Rincewind inside. ( )
  Fiddleback_ | Dec 17, 2018 |
This was okay, not up to the standard of my favorites by Holt. Amusing premise, with Jesus' younger brother Kevin, playing around with Heaven's Mainframe while Dad and Jay go fishing. The result is several humans losing their souls to inanimate objects and a plot by rivel demons to market an improved human. ( )
  ritaer | Jan 18, 2018 |
In the mirror he saw a short, bald, middle-aged man with rosy cheeks and square, black-rimmed glasses; not entirely unlike what he saw in his mirror at home, except for the lack of horns and the regrettably uncloven feet. Trying to balance on these flat nan-bread-shaped things was a nightmare in itself; to someone who was used to the functional elegance of the hoof, it was like trying to do a Fred Astaire dance routine in snowshoes. The lack of horns was something else he’d have difficulty getting used to if this strange state of affairs lasted for any length of time. He’d often wondered how mortals managed without them; particularly office workers. How else did they pierce paper for filing in box files, or remove staples, or open Cellophane-wrapped packets of biscuits?

When God and his oldest son go fishing, his younger son Kevin is left in charge, but causes chaos on Earth and in Hell when he signs on to Mainframe and presses the wrong key. Down on earth, four English men and women find that they have swapped 'bodies' with a piece of industrial machinery, a medieval painting of the Madonna and child, a lemming and a Duke of Hell (albeit a demon who runs the payroll rather than torturing the damned). One of my favourite sub-plots involved the Prime Minister (now in a lemming's body) becoming leader of the lemmings by promising a brave new world in which there wold be no great leaps forward (or down) and everyone would stay where they were, while the lemming in the Prime Minister's body sat on top of a wardrobe in 10 Downing Street, periodically jumping off onto a pile of cushions and biting people.

A quick read, with convoluted sub-plots all coming together at the end, and a couple of loose ends involving Kevin's parentage and his relationship with the help desk girl from the computing company leaving room for a sequel. ( )
  isabelx | Mar 31, 2011 |
genius ( )
  vicarofdibley | Nov 26, 2006 |
I think I can honestly say that I *liked* this book. It was a light, funny read. I wasn’t completely cracked up but I wasn’t bored either. The idea of Heaven and Hell is an ideal one for a parody, or at least a humoristic work.
In Only Human, God and his eldest son Jay go away on a fishing trip leaving things in the hand of Kevin (God’s younger son)… well, things concerning the Cosmo are supposed to be in the hands of Mainframe, God’s computer designed by KIC… until Kevin decides to push a few keys and pouf! A several century old painting takes over the body of a young attractive accountant at KIC, Britain’s Prime Minister ends up stuck in a lemming, a bored machine takes the place of the human in charge of keeping an eye on him and a Duke of Hell switches body with a vicar… interesting beginning, isn’t? But things take yet another turn as Kevin who still doesn’t know what he’s doing, tries to make things right. Result: a permanent eclipse, an overzealous robot, an alien coming in peace, a living limited company throwing doughnuts at police officers. May I quote Joshua by saying “This is wackâ€? because there’ truly no other word.
I think it was a nice introduction to this other’s style and I will probably pick other books from him in the future if I’m looking for an original light and entertaining read but I can’t live off humoristic fantasy. But then, that’s just me. ( )
  roxy | Jan 3, 2006 |
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Which left theft. Well, why not? Lots of dynamic, successful humans do it. Corporations do it. Governments do it. And if a government can do it, it surely can’t be too difficult.
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Something is about to go wrong. Very wrong. What do you expect if the Supreme Being decides to get away from it all for a few days, leaving his naturally inquisitive son to look after the cosmic balance of things? A minor hiccup with a human soul and a welding machine soon leads to a violent belch, and before you know it the human condition - not to mention the lemming condition - is tumbling down the slippery slope to chaos.

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