This book started out to be of great interest to me, but I stopped reading about 2/3 of the way through because I could no longer relate to anything said. ( )

As a TCK myself, so much of the book made complete and utter sense, and gave me the framework in which to place my experiences. Wow, I only wish someone had explained all this to me when I was growing up. And now I hope to refer to the concepts and suggestions in this book while raising my own children, who are perhaps more 'Cross Culture Kids' than TCKs at the moment.

Particularly useful are the recommendations on how to help TCKs gain closure when moving to a new country, and using that to help move on. ( )

I just finished reading the updated version of Ruth E. Van Reken & David C. Pollock’s, “Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds.” Well worth the purchase price to own this new version.

Like the original, it reviews the basic research on TCKs — people who spent a significant part of their developmental years living outside their parents’ culture (e.g. children of missionaries, the military, international businessmen, and diplomats). It describes the essential characteristics of their globally nomadic lifestyle (high mobility, deep exposure to multiple cultures, identification with sponsoring agencies, etc.), and addresses the emotional, cognitive, and social benefits and challenges posed by that upbringing.

In addition, this updated version examines the long-term impacts of growing up as a TCK, now that more and more research on Adult TCKs is finally being completed. It looks at the changing nature of the TCK experience, in a world where technology now allows children to maintain “permanent addresses” of their own, on email, Facebook, and other social-networking sites. Finally, the book begins to ask questions about the similarities and differences in experience and developmental impacts of other types of cross-cultural upbringings, such as immigrant families, international adoptees, and the like.

Eye-opening, and reassuring. I heartily recommend it. ( )

Years ago, when I was moving between two countries, I was given a stack of cassette tapes of talks given by David C. Pollock]], so the contents of the book were more a reminder than new information. I will say that several of the points he makes were enormously helpful a decade ago and are still just as useful to anyone moving to another country. His emphasis in this book is on how to help children make the adjustments needed to thrive in a new culture, how to return to their original country later and how having been raised in more than one culture can be both a great enhancement and a challenge, but the contents will also be valuable to any adult in that situation.

This summer, I packed up a household of children, pets and things and followed my SO out to Germany. It's an adventure and a great opportunity for the kids to see Europe, now that they're old enough to remember it. But there are challenges involved in moving them away from their familiar places and people. Reading Third Culture Kids has been useful in helping me to prepare the kids for the experience.

Some of the things that stood out was the reminder that no matter how difficult the adjustment, there will be a time, a few months down the road, when everyday activities are routine. I remind myself of that daily. He also emphasized the importance of leaving the previous place with good-byes said, parties attended and any conflicts resolved before you leave. Knowing that people care about you and will miss you does make it a lot easier to jump into a new environment with both feet, secure in those old relationships and knowing that, in time, new relationships will form. ( )

This book is invaluable for anyone who is or cares about a third culture kid (TCK): one who has "spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents' cultures". This experience is common to children of missionaries, parents who work for international corporations, foreign service, aid organizations, educators, media representatives, military service, or whatever takes them out of their home country for an extended period of time. This TCK experience can also happen actually to children who remain in their home country but live in a different culture within it, e.g. those whose parents work on an Indian reservation in the U.S. while not being born to that culture.

Many of the differences the reader would probably be aware of, such as differences in eye contact, handshaking, pointing and other mannerisms. I remember walking out of a training about Native American communication where we talked about the fact that direct eye contact can be a sign of disrespect to elders in that culture, and having a conversation with a young man who made no eye contact with me. My whole body strongly said
"he's lying or hiding something" - not to be trusted. I could THINK all day long about those differences, but had to be sure to pay attention to the responses my body was having and not react based on my ignorance. The authors of this book go more deeply into the effect these differences have on relationships, self-esteem, isolation, etc.

Other issues addressed are, e.g. how does one form deep attachments with those around them when they know they are always separated eventually. There is no payoff and lots of pain in forming attachments.

Another example of an unforeseen difficulty certainly is education. One Finnish young man grew up in Taiwan, and chose to complete his post-secondary education and med school in Chicago. English was spoken in all of his schooling and he would have had to compete with Finnish students who had been educated in Finnish to get into med school in his home country, and didn't think he would qualify. He has realized it would be very difficult for him to EVER return to Finland to practice medicine. He does not have a medical vocabulary in Finnish and would be looked down upon by his colleagues for having trained elsewhere.

Restlessness is not a small factor in the lives of TCKs as adults, regarding relationships, careers, and just living arrangements. The norm is to migrate and they would need to look very carefully to determine if it was really time to leave or rather a need to work on the relationship or job and NOT leave. The problem seems to manifest in either the extreme of needing change often, or not ever wanting change again. One woman married a man with about 8 jillion stamps on his passport, thinking they would enjoy a lifetime of travel, only to discover that he never wanted to leave the country again.

This book does talk about the advantages of being a TCK also, altho some of those things are probably more well known. Obviously an increased knowledge and experience base is an advantage, along with some social skills developed from the need to meet new people. What comes up for me is that that is the person I want in a staff meeting, able to bring different perspectives. Also, a TCK often has a worldwide network of friends. TCKs of course have their own culture with other TCKs when they get together, which can be very helpful for them.

The authors look at both weaknesses and strengths that develop for many TCKs and offers some helpful ideas for dealing with some of the grief and loss issues. I personally found this book to be very interesting reading whether or not the reader has a personal interest in the issue. 5 out of 5 stars. ( )