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The Sociopath Next Door af Martha Stout
Indlæser...

The Sociopath Next Door (original 2005; udgave 2006)

af Martha Stout (Forfatter)

MedlemmerAnmeldelserPopularitetGennemsnitlig vurderingOmtaler
1,989948,106 (3.63)85
Who is the devil you know? Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband? Your sadistic high school gym teacher? Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings? The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own? In the pages of The Sociopath Next Door, you will realize that your ex was not just misunderstood. He's a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too. We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people-one in twenty-five-has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt. How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They're more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others' suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know-someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for-is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.… (mere)
Medlem:paarth7
Titel:The Sociopath Next Door
Forfattere:Martha Stout (Forfatter)
Info:Harmony (2006), Edition: 1, 256 pages
Samlinger:Dit bibliotek
Vurdering:
Nøgleord:to-read

Work Information

The Sociopath Next Door af Martha Stout (2005)

  1. 01
    Lunch with a Sociopath af Lucie Lilly Pawlak (lucie.lilly)
  2. 02
    American Wife af Curtis Sittenfeld (susanbooks)
    susanbooks: One of Stout's examples is a not-so-thinly veiled George Bush. Interesting to read the nonfictional (but speculative) & fictional portrayals together.
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» Se også 85 omtaler

Engelsk (91)  Tysk (1)  Svensk (1)  Alle sprog (93)
Viser 1-5 af 93 (næste | vis alle)
This is one of the best books I've read to help the layman understand this baffling psychological 'condition,' but wait there is more..... By looking at the extreme versions of those with and without a conscience, a light is cast. It illuminates the what's at the end of the paths we can choose. See which one would result in a full and satisfying life.

If you've ever been frustrated because those who swindle, lie, steal, etc. get away with it...

If you've ever questioned the validity of the saying "Cheaters never win..."

If you've ever wondered whether you should have been more ruthless to enhance your own success...

If after being "taken in," you consider, "How could I have recognized this person's issues sooner and cut my losses..."

...READ THIS BOOK. I HIGHLY recommend it. I cannot type it loud enough. Just read it. You'll be so glad you did. ( )
  RaggedyMe | Aug 12, 2023 |
I learned from reading this book that I'm not a complete sociopath..which is good :) Interesting nature vs nurture debate towards the end of the book. ( )
  kwskultety | Jul 4, 2023 |
Das Problematische bei Soziopathen ist, dass sie besonders einnehmend und nett erscheinen: nach außen hin. Im Inneren wurde diesen Menschen wohl in der Kindheit Schlimmes angetan und sie können diese Problematik im Erwachsenenalter nicht lösen. Sie werden von Opfern zu Tätern und diese Rolle wird ihr Lebensinhalt, sie spielen diese perfekt und sind darüber hinaus in der Karriere zu allem Übel noch besonders erfolgreich.

Vier Prozent der Bevölkerung zeigen nach Stout keinerlei Emotionen für andere Menschen, außer über sie siegen zu wollen, sie zu dominieren. Scham, Schuld oder Reue kennen diese Personen nicht, weil ihr inneres Empfindungsvsvermögen ausgeknipst wurde: durch das erlittene, eigene Unrecht bzw. die Qualen in der Kindheit.

Soziopathen sind also erschreckend anders:

1.
Nach außen ein nettes Lächeln, hohe Intelligenz und höfliche Mechanismen, die sie für Andere als besonders attraktiv im normalen menschlichen Umgang erscheinen lassen.

2.
Nach innen aber sind sie verhärtet und empfinden nichts. Weder für sich selbst noch für Mitmenschen. Die eigenen (unaufgelösten) Leiden wirken wie ein Panzer, mit dem sie andere dominieren und erniedrigen wollen.

Soziopathen fehlt die Fähigkeit zur Liebe. Gefühle werden vorgeflunkert, aufgesetzt (leider täuschend echt), tatsächlich ist ihnen Mitleid völlig fremd. Macht und Siegenwollen um jeden Preis stehen an erster Stelle ihrer Handlungen und sie haben ein erstaunliches Instrumentarium zum Durchsetzen ihrer Wünsche. Das Leben ist für sie ein Spiel ohne Moral und Gewissen, sie tricksen, tarnen und täuschen in erstaunlich höflicher, nach außen nicht einsehbarer Art und Weise.

Dieses Buch zeigt die Ursachen des unverbesserlich Bösen deutlich auf und legt die Schichten des Unsichtbaren bloß. Es sensibilisiert für einen Bereich, der normalen, ethisch empfindenen Menschen fremd erscheint.

Ich empfehle - insbesondere im Hinblick auf mögliche Lösungsansätze Betroffener - als weiteres, ergänzendes Buch: Die Masken der Niedertracht: Seelische Gewalt im Alltag und wie man sich dagegen wehren kann.

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

English

The problem with sociopaths is that they appear particularly engaging and nice: on the outside. Inside, bad things were probably done to these people in childhood and they cannot solve this problem in adulthood. They go from victims to perpetrators and this role becomes their purpose in life, they play it perfectly and, to make matters worse, they are particularly successful in their careers.

According to Stout, four percent of the population shows no emotions whatsoever for other people, apart from wanting to win over them, to dominate them. These people do not know shame, guilt or remorse because their inner sensitivity was switched off: through their own injustice or the torment in childhood.

So, sociopaths are shockingly different:

1.
A nice smile on the outside, high intelligence and polite mechanisms that make them appear particularly attractive to others in normal human interaction.

2.
Inwardly, however, they are hardened and feel nothing. Neither for yourself nor for those around you. Their own (unresolved) suffering acts like a shell with which they want to dominate and humiliate others.

Sociopaths lack the capacity for love. Feelings are faked, put on (unfortunately deceptively real), in fact, compassion is completely foreign to them. Power and the desire to win at all costs are at the forefront of their actions and they have an amazing set of tools to achieve their desires. For them, life is a game without morality and conscience, they trick, camouflage and deceive in an amazingly polite way that is not visible to the outside world.

This book spells out the causes of incorrigible evil and lays bare the layers of the unseen. It raises awareness of an area that seems alien to normal, ethically sensitive people.

I recommend - especially with regard to possible solutions for those affected - as a further, supplementary book: The masks of infamy: mental violence in everyday life and how you can defend yourself against it
  Clu98 | Apr 4, 2023 |
I’ve been around long enough to have run into a fair number of sociopaths. Of course, at first I didn’t recognize them as such and don't remember being aware they even existed in the everyday world. But experience is a hard teacher and I soon learned my lesson. I can’t say there was a lot in this book that went beyond what I found out on my own but the ‘tells’ about how to spot a sociopath confirmed my suspicion of a few. What I liked best was the part about envying the sociopath’s detachment because I admit I’ve occasionally thought not having a conscience might not be a bad thing. This was convincing and eloquent in making it clear that even though it can feel like an obligation at times, having a conscience that lets us love and feel connected to others is, in fact, a blessing. ( )
  wandaly | Feb 6, 2023 |
This book is an easy read on a subject that is rather difficult for some people to grasp. There are some very clear examples of what behavior is considered sociopathic and why. In addition to exploring what motivates a person with no conscience, the book also explores what motives a person with a conscience. It is not a complete look at the subject, but rather an introduction to ins and outs of what a sociopath looks like (ordinary). ( )
  talon2claw | Dec 31, 2022 |
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Imagine—if you can—not having a conscience, none at all, no feelings of guilt or remorse no matter what you do, no limiting sense of concern for the well-being of strangers, friends or even family members.
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Who is the devil you know? Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband? Your sadistic high school gym teacher? Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings? The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own? In the pages of The Sociopath Next Door, you will realize that your ex was not just misunderstood. He's a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too. We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people-one in twenty-five-has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt. How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They're more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others' suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know-someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for-is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.

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