When I was dancing because I was 22, (very anxious dancing, of course), I didn’t quite get the Hanson-Roberts vibe, but if I were to ever share tarot with a truly open-minded Christian—that most legendary of mythical beasts—this is the deck I would use. (Community is kinda nice, and most community is still Christian, at the end of the day. And when I get married eventually I’ll probably get married in a Christian church, for my family—my psycho father and his wife, even my normie brother and his family, and really my father’s whole side of the family, really. Might as well start “grooming”—😝 lol just a metaphor…. It’s not the same thing, but it’s the same word, lolz—some Christian cleric to accept some of my esotericism, just so that I have that option in my back pocket. It’s not going to start immediately, but I’ll try out Joel-style church (again? It feels like again!) eventually, and all the Christian persecutors in the name of justice jobs and King Jesus III can bite my ass, you know.)

People are less likely to see you as a cannibal if you are cute, you know. (Even though the people who are influenced by that often have the cute children of the 1880s in mind, you know. The 1880s…. In mythology.) After all, Charles Dickens was once a child, right! 😜

(Hermes) (eating meat pies) Hey mommy what kind of meat is in these pies. (no answer) Hey mommy: what kind of meat—
—(drops something heavy and screams) Atreus! Atreus, Atreus you motherf—! And to tell me in a note! If he were here I—
(Hermes) Mommy I’m starting to feel sad. Have you been drinking again.
—No, no, nothing like that. (throws away meat in one heavy motion) You know: people have all sorts of rules about meat: seafood is okay, usually, unless it’s lobster; I don’t really understand it…. Let’s be vegetarians, from now on, ok?
(Hermes eyes get real big and he nods)

I wonder who decided that Christians following the Jewish dietary laws would bring harm to mankind, but their persecuting pagans, psychics…. Even philosophers! Despite loving philosophy!…. You know: THAT was 👌

But yeah people are less likely to treat you like you’re the devil/a cannibal, if you are cute, you know. And really, it’s a goal in itself, right. They almost could have called this the Cutie Pie Tarot, but then people would be like, God damn it! Fucking Wiccans and their fucking white light! Even kids don’t act like that, man! Never have, never will! Boys don’t even pretend; don’t you bloody notice that! And girls pretend because they’re scared, bro! They pretend because they’re scared!

~ But also because they feel like this: 🥰

😉

…. “Dark-lighters aren’t capable of love” ~Charmed

It’s like, dark, light, not-capable-of-love, what the fuck….?

“Well, I don’t like whoring around.”

Ok, good. Don’t do it. Moving on….

Yeah. It turns out my intro to this pastor was a problem with money (he couldn’t really help, but, it was interesting), and not like his church’s website plus my intuition/oracle, right…. That’s probably better, right…. He’s very tolerant and not stodgy at all, on his good days, but maybe a little normal, right…. Well, anyway, I have a church now. Every other Sunday, and I can kinda get out of the house and I have people I can be with, maybe talk to, right.

I guess even I can have a limit to my weirdness, like a, non-weird phase, right….

And just with this deck, too—like a really familiar, classic tarot deck, a paleface tarot, and with a really simple theme—children, cuteness; after that chaotic and alien-to-gringo Hispanic oracle deck, I was almost wanting to get away from meditating with tarot cards; I did a few sits just visualizing or just de-stressing, basically…. (It wasn’t just the oracle deck, LOL….)…. Also I meditate in the graveyard of the church I used to go to, a time or two, I guess, a week now. It feels very Celtic, meditating outside…. It has a very different feel from doing it in a room….

But yeah: familiar is NOT always a bad thing, even for rebels….

…. Yeah, I don’t know that I’ll have curious applications of the occult sciences to dispense over this deck: but I do think I’ll almost certainly keep it. It’s classic but a nice theme; like the opposite of the Modern Witch Tarot in that it’s kinda safe and sleepy, you know, no risk of alienating the non-gynocentric (like MW) or almost anybody else, except people who are turned off by safety, in which case, maybe MW, right. So that’s a nice basic trio to have, and obviously tarot is sorta a hobby of mine, so eventually I’ll find more that I actually keep, right….

…. The Emperor~ yes, I’d always read that that was a Goddess symbol he was holding—it’s in the classic deck, too—and I’m familiar with that symbol now; it’s like Isis or something, I draw it in my notebook…. Yes, the Emperor holds the world in his hands, but he’s not supposed to be just a callous fucker, you know…. A powerful but kind man, the Emperor, the true Emperor….

…. The Lovers in HRT is not especially a card of temptation; the children are just being good, you know….

…. It does seem very, very maternal, you know: Strength/Justice/Temperance are like the Three Mothers, you know…. I mean, the Death card is a worthwhile innovation; it shows dying as not being the unique experience of adult males, you know…. But yeah, very mothering: very Baby-Boomer-in-the-80s, right…. And I mean, I like 80s music, 80s pop: “In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins, is like, I mean like a lot of pop songs the music is pleasing, and then the words are ambiguous: either there’s going to be a murder, or else some kind of sexual activity, right…. And I realize that people aren’t born 18 years old, right, (although I suppose even a classic mother of almost any decade wouldn’t whisk their kids out of the store if Phil Collins came on, right), and that it would be ideal for a child, perhaps—the classic child, or maybe a Taurus; I realize that makes it sound like I’m infantilizing Tauruses: they can certainly be adult, responsible, even sensual; it’s just that they’re…. I mean, they’re always kind of responsible, and if they’re not, it’s not because they had some kind of especially unusual idea, right—not that they’re stupid, though. It’s not that, either…. But yeah, it’s like getting married: almost like marriage without the bling, and the glamor, just the sheer…. Correctness, of it, you know. Not a whole lot is going on in most of these cards, really…. I take more of them in a sitting than I normally do, (to meditate on), because of that—although mostly I meditate on crystals these days: at least when I’m feeling very ambitious….

Yeah, not ambitious. Saying I don’t want them maybe isn’t this trivial problem, as in that it’s that they’re awful or I think all decks should be experimental or risky or whatever—I would like kinda a “safe”-esque neo-classic tarot deck…. But I don’t know that this is it…. I’ll have to see when I do that reading at the end. Fuck the Christians, maybe, if they want me to box myself up all polite, you know. I mean, there’s a way to present yourself to a nervous open-minded person, and your most politically conscious deck probably isn’t it…. But maybe this isn’t it, either, for sheer force of…. I mean, it’s not that tarot is always or even usually this sexual crazy thing. It represents the whole world; sometimes the message might be that you should act less like a teenager and bring a little discipline into your life, right. But just this…. You know, sugary, “I spend all my time with my mom after I get home from school! Five to six hours a day!” It’s like bitch, what if your mom wants to go out drinking with her friends. What if your mom has friends, too. What if your mom isn’t your fucking doll, right.

…. It’s like, you’re wolfing down a few nutrition bars because there’s no eating in the library, (hey, I went to the vegan eatery earlier in the day, bro: I have real meals, sometimes, ok?) and it’s just starting to rain a little harder now, (and of course, I forget that I have my car back, until walking to it would have literally just extended my time outside), and so of course some mother, you know, some stranger-passerby mother is like, Oh no you’re getting wet!—or some fucking thing, right: and I just wanted to be like, Oh no, you’re a woman! How will you ever recover!

I feel like I’m less of a jackass to uncool people than some people are—but yeah. Pretty much how I felt, right.

…. Yeah, that Devil looks like he could be the mascot of a baseball team or something, right: like we’re bringing back the Devil Rays; that’s different, dontcha think…. Up, but it can’t happen in Florida again, right, Governor DeSantis would be like, Best I can do is, Rays of Christ’s Truth…. But only if you politically vet the players for Black ideology, basically…. But yeah, baseball mascots are fun; the Yankees never had one because they just stick a poker up their ass and pretend that they’re like in a national security detail or something…. But yeah, speed the game up: somebody takes too long to fucking get their ass in the goddamn ~athletic competition~, the Devil he kinda…. 👹 He encourages the players to maintain a brisk pace, right. Don’t go soft on ‘em, now. We have other things we gotta do today.

But yeah, the Sun card is cute. All the cards in this deck are like the Sun, but the Sun itself is actually ~supposed to be~, right.

…. The images are very unremarkable, and where there are innovations they tend to be bad. Duality is part of the Twos, however the Two of Wands always implied to me that “never alone when you’re alone”, thing: like there’s the balance between the implied partner, but also them not being present…. In HRT, it’s so codependent that the partner is implied so strongly it might as well just be a picture of Mr. Darcy proposing marriage or something, you know. It’s like…. No, just no…. Like, what does this chick do when nobody calls, right?

…. The Page of Rods is cute, but it’s like: the King of Rods is like 900 years old, and the Queen of Rods is like, seven, you know.

I’m not going to pretend that seven year old girls aren’t cute, and obviously in the classic deck there’s a gender imbalance in the court cards, but it’s like: men age, that’s ok; girls, stay seven…. Oh, and you know that guy that could be your father, well….

I mean, not all age differences come from gender Satan, but they CAN play into disempowering narratives very well, and I think in Mary Hanson-Roberts’ world, they Absolutely Would, you know.

…. The Cups are mostly fine—they’re pretty; kinda emote-y and not much going on symbolically, but pretty. Of course, there is the aspect that if it were up to Mary HR, the four suits would be four Cups, of different colors, you know. lol. But, pretty, you know.

I do have kinda a problem with the stereotypical Wizard in the Seven of Cups, though. I mean, there’s just no end of romantics/conformist women with little interest indeed in intellectualism or whatever, who pay homage to intellectualism in old white men, you know: just because for old white men to be intellectual is ~conformist~, and ~conformity~, is Love, right…. I’m not sure where a “Merlin” type belongs in the Cups suit, but I’m not convinced it’s the Seven, you know…. I mean, a Druid sort would counsel ~skepticism~ of the Seven of Cups energy, in reality: is that where Mary is going with this? (hard little laugh) Mary Hanson-Robert’s—skeptical—of ~Cups~? Yeah, cold day in paradise, right, when that happens….

(sighs) I mean, it is what it is, right. Not exactly Mary’s message to the children, right: but sometimes that’s how it is, you know.

…. The Ten of Cups and the Page of Cups are cute cards, but then, all the cards are like that, pretty much; it’s exaggerated. (It’s like when you eat cake every day, and then the holidays roll around, you know.) Except for the Kings—no matter what suit they are, they’re always masc-y rulers of men, you know. King of Cups, bearded and scepter-bearing, o-kay…. The Eight of Cups is interesting, but by no means necessarily effective/undistorted/true, you know. Do we turn to the Moon when we have had our fill of emotion? I realize there’s a Moon in the classic image, but I feel like that’s underlining that it’s ~night~, you know: this card is like, I-am-femmy-femme-the-Moon-femme-and-I-like-the-Starry-Night-painting-that’s-the-only-painting-I’ve-ever-seen-in-my-life, you know…. I mean, I’m not one of these people that thinks you need to become fucking fluent in Old Irish to be a Real Witch (Real Witch University, classes starting at a hand and an eye), just in case a time traveler whisks you off to live in 750 AD Ireland, so that you can really 👌, KNOW, right…. But, holy shit, if you’re becoming a tarot girl to conform, why not just…. I don’t know, take up knitting and write about the different film adaptions of “Little Women”, right? I’m sure some of them are even not bad movies, right—I mean, if you just want to be a femmy femme and conform, right: why not just be a Christian. Plenty of Christians are feminine, romantic conformists, right. It seems like a distinction without difference, you know, like…. How is that not wasted effort, basically? 🤔

…. It’s like in “The Golden Compass”, where the villainess—who’s in some sense sympathetic, and a real character and not a goobey-booger goblin, right: but who is still obviously very problematic—teaches the heroine to become alienated from her daemon (ie her animus), right. (Literally, he has to look away from her when she’s bathing: even though, holy shit, right, He IS Her!!!) It’s like, Welcome to society, little girl. We don’t like ourselves; we don’t feel that we ARE ourselves! 😂😔

…. The Swords seem almost wholly unremarkable. You can really tell what she likes—or doesn’t like…. Aside from a few cartoony notes, and a few things like that, the notable divergent details seem few and random; I can’t tell what she’s trying to accomplish, and rather doubt that there was some sort of inspired design, you know. It’s just…. phoning it in, you know…. Like, a lack of interest. A lack of focus…. It’s like she wrote a book for little girls, and it doesn’t matter if you ~really communicate~ with little girls, it just matters that you don’t tell them the truth—I mean, that you don’t frighten them, right. 🧌😨

…. I guess even Mistress Mary Sing-y Song-y couldn’t make the Queen of Swords into the Sugar Plum Fairy—thankfully.

But yeah, some of these cards, it’s like, Swords don’t represent cutesy ballet battles, really—not that even “The Nutcracker” doesn’t have its place~ but the whole thing is like, The Nutcracker Tarot, you know; except for the Chinese and the Arabs: it’s more Tchaikovsky than Tchaikovsky himself, right. Like, the Ten of Swords is not, cutesy-put-on-by-life, to get what you want, right…. I really just question the wisdom of having such an ~overwhelming majority~ of these cards be children, you know. We take children’s media for granted, and it’s like: there are childhood stages of development and I wouldn’t want to imply that children are unimportant or even necessarily treated well by society, but what we give them in books is like this island society of only children in the South Pacific, but nobody believes on it in real life, so it’s just a fantasy; it doesn’t make their lives better, it just serves to infantilize them…. And some medal/prize children’s books now are like high school books, basically, and that is NOT the answer, that hyper-rationalism squeezing the joy and even any honest, simple feeling out of life, basically: but this is not the answer, you know…. It’s like we want children to think that the Ten of Swords is getting the wrong flavor of ice cream, and it’s infantilizing, you know. It’s bullshit. And I’m sorry, if you have children and unprocessed trauma both, you have double the reason to be in therapy and work on your damn self instead of sloppily slapping your trauma energy around the house, right: but people think that if they’re around children—I mean, people you fucking know, right; they’re PEOPLE, not independent adults, but People, for fuck’s sake, and you’ve just got to pretend that Frank fucking Capra was not a liar and a propagandist on most fucking days, you know—you just fucking…. Like, glass bubble crap for the children, you know. I mean, kids are cute and people are stupid and strangers’ children you don’t know, in public, is one thing—our wonderful strangers’ public, right—but if you really knew the kids, would it really be respect to just…. I mean, just vain well-wishing, not from politeness but from people who would do less for you and not more…. And just lies, you know…. “But didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s right to lie to the children! It’s the rules!” In WWII in Europe children got bombed, right. There are still places where children get bombed, you know. Some people’s mother or father is an alcoholic, right. Why can’t we imagine a child who’s a real fucking person, just vulnerable and underdeveloped—more potential, sure, more flexibility and easily accessed capacity for change, right, but…. It’s like the only people who have children are the fucking lord and lady of fucking colonial fairy-land in our goddamn Victorian oppression-delusion imaginations, you know. Real, dog. (Don’t children love dogs? Ha!….)….

You know? It’s like the Frank Capra Tarot, even though if you had showed a tarot deck to Frank Capra, he probably would have pulled a knife on you, right.

…. But yeah, the old-fashioned customs are stubborn, and desperately wicked: I think it says that in the Bible, lol. It probably means we should invade Canada, round up the draft dodgers, right. I’ll have to talk it over with my father. He is so much wiser and more stubborn than I.

…. I am so ready to be done with these fucking cards.

However, I’m not sad to be adding another tarot set—even though I spend at least half of my formal meditations with crystals now, lately, I think: especially if you don’t count the ones where I’m tired and just meditate, right~ (and also I suppose I visualize mostly in non-formal practice, unless you count the crystal meditations, which are largely visualizations, although I don’t suppose lately I’ve been getting down and visualizing directly, whatever, some practical thing, although I have a mind to do certain things in a few days when the stars clear)— but yeah, I don’t mind that I’ve only one book finished for crystals, and rather more tarot stuff; most of my secular witchcraft psych books are tarot-y, and most of the rest are about runes…. But crystals are nature; tarot is art—so they leave different traces. You finished meditating through a whole tarot deck, you have “read” through someone’s take on the world—at least rather briefly, right. You do three meditations (cleanse, charge, program) for ten crystals, you’d almost be halfway through a tarot deck—perhaps even ~most~ of the way through some oracle decks—well, actually, certainly, more than that, even, since you can at least do 3-4 cards a sitting; with this deck I did seven because they were boring, right: so that’s easily two or almost two tarot decks, although it could very well be a very small fraction of the crystals mentioned in many crystal books, right. More fundamentally, while both tarot decks and rune sets, and tarot guides and rune guides, are art—craft—Only crystal guides are art; the crystals themselves are not ‘art’ or artifice in the same way: not craft in the narrow sense, although no one’s “Craft” would be much without nature. It is a craft belief that no one’s life is, either, you know…. Working with crystals is not like “reading a book” in the same way. When one meditates under an oak tree, one does not say that one has spoken to the mind of man. One is not better than the other—if one were better, it would be the tree or the crystal, but that is rather absolute for me—but they certainly leave different traces, for this sort of thing, right. I no longer feel that my craft is lop-sided—all in one basket, named TARO/ROTA—for it still appearing that way because of the representation of evidence, right….

I suppose that’s kinda suggestive sociologically, too: wise white men from the West go looking for the civilization of the Druids, or else perhaps the Gypsy/Roma or Lapps/Sami (different names for two groups of non-white Europeans often associated with this sort of thing), and basically we go looking for their tarot card decks, right—their human craft, right. Often these don’t survive because people burned them, “and men will think they do God a service (when they do such to you)”, right—and really they spent probably at least equal time with the oak trees and the yew trees and the birches, right, and we go, Huh? But even Mexicans are almost as good as tree goblins, right…. ?….!…. ~And then we find a “tarot deck”, so to speak, preserved material culture, or whatever, and we’re like, How does this help me cut down trees?…. And then someone’s like, I’ll add this to my atheist posts on Threads. Take That, Jesus! ~You might as well bring down theology by criticizing the BAND Take That, right…. Which incidentally would probably make equal sense, since A LOT of pop music about romantic love is basically about CHRISTIAN romantic love, in all but name, right: but the whole world stumbles over the phrase, right…. (stupid face scrunches up) Christians fall in love? But my dad—in my Bible Church Sunday School: I distinctly remember my father telling me, quite literally…. ~Ah, literally. Well, there’s your problem. What effect do you suppose it had on his life, these literal beliefs of his, right? Perhaps annoyed his mate, but, I mean…. He never fell in love, got married, and had you watch “family” (read: CHRISTIAN ROMANTIC) movies as a kid? Right…. The things people will believe for the sake of facts, you know: facts are the greatest liars; and then, in the final extremity, the live-for-fact gotcha-people can’t even add numbers together correctly and Get facts right, you know…. All the gods are one, are they not?….

…. And you know: there’s science-romantic, too: take this (product), and you will (get a beauty result), right? ~(hard liners) (collective groan, weeping and gnashing of teeth, etc.) That’s not what it’s FOR: it’s not for You, being, You—it’s for You, being (dramatic acting) ME…. ME!!!! ~(confused) But I’m not you; I’m me. I just have no idea what to do, and you’re the only expert I know. You’re saying we can’t be friends? ~No, we can’t be friends. And you have to stop using my ideas and being influenced by me. ~How do I— ~(crisis king) EXPEL THEM FROM YOUR MIND. (walks out) ~ (huffy) I am going to call that number and (get beauty result).

~Right?

…. But yeah: I’m not sure I’ll be able to write anything about the Pentacles: I’m just so done, right—so done…. Maybe it should be called like, the Generic American Mother Tarot, right…. It’s never like, Well, let me let them ~feel~ this one, right: it’s always…. Yes, children, I greet you in this, the Year of Our Lord 172…. (~1984-1812: publication date - Dickens’ birth, right….) “Oh, you like our Good Lord Charles, the Whitest of Men?” “(smiles, shakes head smilingly) I don’t understand what I read, children: but my husband is a very wise man, and he’s read about half of Dickens, and I’m going to see to it, that he finishes the work he began.” (the children laugh and give sing-song approval) “I made cake. Who wants some?” (Much Approval!)

~Basically, EVERY card is bent in the direction of being like or setting that up, you know. She probably thinks that makes her romantic, you know…. Like how if you were from Romania or Russia or something, you’d say that All Other Countries Are Bupkis, and call that, “love of country”, right: like…. Or, to take the other side of things: I asked for the dish with the white sauce; I got the red sauce? ~Because you didn’t really say “white”—it was more like “red”, and anyway: nothing you say really means anything, to these people…. Nothing comes out of your mouth but strange magpie crap, you know….

…. I mean, I realize that staid sort isn’t ~always wrong~, you know. As I clicked on the video for my meditation music, Grandfather Odin, I mean, Joe Biden, calmly and almost sweetly said he was gonna “fight like hell” so that women could control their own bodies—not the government, not Donald Trump; we need to get our freedom back, etc: and obviously I was voting for him before, so it wasn’t like NYT-science-effective, right; (amid my mass of de-subscriptions I de-subscribed to the NYT emails today; the science of negative thinking news is always so boring and irrelevant; I never read it…. I also de-subscribed to the Quakers that I visited like three times and the Black-owned witch shop in the Bronx I took an online quiz for and thought, Yeah, maybe someday I’ll find a specifically Black owned witch shop to support even if I have to travel like forty miles instead of three or four, right…. Clutter: cluttered thoughts; CG Jung once said that we are what we do, not what we subscribed to an email list because we were gonna do, right 🤡)…. But yeah, fight like hell, Father Odin, (and may the Old Religion go with you), I mean, Grand Old America Father, I mean…. What was his name?…. Shadow President Voldemort is the only one in the news, lol; all our journalists should be fired, OMG….

…. [And it’s funny, re: the news—sometimes negative news is real, certainly; I’m not saying don’t care about people you meet who have these things happen, right; like at my church, it’s a “better” church than a lot of churches, they had these two very soulful African American guys at this meet and greet (there were maybe eight or nine of us, if you don’t count people who popped in, although one of those was a Black lady with her kids…. It was a social before church: I obviously spend most of my church time there in regular church, but that’s kinda what I come for, is the social aspect: I come for community; the teaching is satisfactory, but it’s obviously not tailored for me specifically, after human notions, right: it’s a community teaching; life is not just me and my books: I didn’t choose to have COVID happen, obviously, but that’s something I learned during the pandemic, me and my books and unlimited time in isolation do not add up to happiness, right), and then one of them was a minister from Haiti: and he was telling me, you know, the starvation, the crime, the international indifference, the gangs, right—but I really don’t think it would have helped me to be able to say, Yes it was because of (Title) Francoise de Lastname, he (whatever); or he should have (whatever), and then, instead of (whatever), he (messed up): right. It’s just: you know, I don’t know what gangs in Haiti are like; I just know from talking with him that, many Black men are formally dressing, unusually polite gentlemen, which I knew; and not everyone put upon by the world goes on Threads and does a rant-thread or feels that vibe or appreciates it, which I knew, right….]

But yeah, if it makes every Democrat’s favorite Beatles’ generation guy feel better, I’ll refrain from issuing another fatwa against them as I go through the last seven cards…. But I do not like these cards…. It’s like: …. I don’t know; it’s like…. It’s so conventional, it’s like we were gonna do a tarot reading, but somebody left the TV on, right. It’s like, respect yourself, right. Get a sense that you don’t need to get in the neighbor’s dog’s business, right. There’s a time to mix in public, and there’s a time to be separate. A tarot reading is not a time to impress your seventh-grade English teacher, right, with how well you fit into some out-of-date mold that was never a good idea to begin with, you know.

…. But yeah: I’ll finish up with a reading, out of habit, tomorrow, and post, but only 3-7 cards, because I hate these cards, let’s see: five cards, good.

…. (sermon) “wisdom and discretion”

I always think God is so funny. But yeah: for someone who can write things that any Fox News journalist who cared enough about me to think me worthy of notice would take and make like a, you know, a call to arms to the local militia, right…. But yeah: I’m actually very shy; and I value wisdom and discretion, right: the funny thing for me is, sometimes wisdom and discretion kinda play against each other; like classic English discretion can militate against wisdom, right: but you do cultivate them both together….

But yeah, it was a fun sermon. Daniel and the king’s dream. It’s kinda funny, the king’s attitude to astrology or prophecy or whatever it is, is very much the attitude of the modernist/science-as-interpreted-by-Threads person, right: if you can’t guarantee results, and I’m not going to even tell you the name of the game, right, and Daniel wasn’t even there—and the astrologers are singing ABBA, right: what’s the name of the game, and the king tells the metal band to warm up, right: because he doesn’t like ABBA…. The king “put out a hit on his cabinet”, as Vincent said, right. (He didn’t go for the three-chord breakup song about astrology, right. He’s a good guy. I think the Enneagram is as symbolic as he gets; he doesn’t value number symbolism in interpreting parables and things like that, and he probably doesn’t see the benefit in astrology, but he doesn’t get like a coke hit out of disagreeing with people, right.) But yeah, a big take away is gratitude: “Sometimes we spend so much time on please please please that we don’t say thank you thank you thank you”— 👍. And even in terms of preparing for that crisis and then doing the after-action report, right: I’m pessimistic; it’s easy to feel unsatisfied about the degree to which I was stressed and anxious and at times ineffective in a unfamiliar crisis: but I didn’t necessarily make bad choices or display bad character or have bad results: even compared to what some more credentialed people around me would have done or recommended, even: and in the end, it made my life better; that’s the main thing….

But yeah, we definitely cultivate wisdom and discretion together, in spite of appearances, you know.

…. In community sometimes you have to definitely appreciate things by what it means to the person, rather than trusting your mind to analyze the notions, right…. Really how they want you to feel, is what it means. I really can’t describe it better than that.

…. But yeah, I’m sure this might seem really loony to people: you ask the oracle about itself? Don’t all oracles think they’re the best? Certainly I don’t think any oracle considers itself defective the way I might: but the best I can explain is, I don’t think that all oracles consider themselves, The Best For Me, right: certainly not….

So here are the five cards:

Four of Pentacles, Reversed
King of Pentacles, Reversed
Nine of Pentacles, Reversed
Page of Rods, Reversed
XX, Judgment, Reversed

Definitely got the feel that I need to release, (4P, R) and that our ‘judgments’/analysis (XX, R) is not in sync. Also the feel that it’s not the feeling of rootedness/practicality (KoP, R; 9P, R), that I want: like it can’t “show me the money”, so to speak. Not as sure about PoR, R, but I guess—my sense of being a slightly precocious youth, (which I think I’ll always be, even if society emphatically rejects any pretension to coolness I may or may not put out, right), being kinda flaked out on by the whole housewife energy, right.

(shrugs) And yeah, ok—some “housewife” types do do a lot of civic work; they just “happen to be” married to money and so they work as volunteers and do a lot of community stuff, instead of feeling the need to get a paycheck in return, right; I know that lady Susan I met in church today, where she’s active, also from the mental health clubhouse I used to go to and the combined clothing donations/soup kitchen place where I used to volunteer, so yeah…. And I mean, they don’t always avoid all Black men, right…. (shrugs)

So yeah: I’m feeling a big fat whatever on these cards: but no offense intended to Allfather Biden and his Black Raven Harris, right.

But yeah: I’m not feeling the love, right.

Sometimes these cards can be kinda nice, but overall I've found that I don't really develop a good feel with them.

(7/10) ( )

This is my all-time favorite tarot deck. I've been reading with these cards for well more than a decade now. The illustrations are beautiful! ( )