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Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me:…
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Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me: Depression in the First Person (udgave 2019)

af Anna Mehler Paperny (Forfatter)

MedlemmerAnmeldelserPopularitetGennemsnitlig vurderingOmtaler
714296,414 (4)1
In her early 20s, Anna Mehler Paperny--having just landed her dream job as an investigative journalist, and with a loving family and a strong social network--nevertheless found herself spiraling into despair. A suicide attempt landed her in the intensive care unit, after her bosses found her passed out in her apartment having ingested a deadly mix of sleeping pills and antifreeze. Many more suicide attempts followed in subsequent years.   Following the dictum "know thine enemy," Anna set out to meet and interview those on the frontline of treatments. While also trying to be a good patient, Anna turned her investigative journalist's eye on the world around her--in the psych ward; as an outpatient; as a survivor, enduring the grueling ordeal of facing concerned family, friends, and coworkers; finding the right meds and therapist; and staying insured and employed. In search of answers, she interviewed leading medical experts--from psychiatrists to neurologists, brain-mapping pioneers to family practitioners--and others dabbling in strange hypotheses. Cured or not, she discovered the truth of her condition in online depression-testing and the far frontiers of brain mapping--as well as the disturbing truth about how primitive our methods remain for healing sick brains.   With courageous honesty and uncommon eloquence, Paperny's stunning memoir chronicles her firsthand experience of depression and her intrepid quest to explore what we know (and don't know) about the disease, while providing an invaluable guide to a health-care system struggling--and too often failing--to provide solutions. As fascinating as it is heartrending, as humorous as it is serious, it is a must-read for anyone touched by depression.… (mere)
Medlem:nlmii
Titel:Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me: Depression in the First Person
Forfattere:Anna Mehler Paperny (Forfatter)
Info:Random House Canada (2019), 352 pages
Samlinger:Dit bibliotek
Vurdering:*****
Nøgleord:biology

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Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me: Depression in the First Person af Anna Mehler Paperny

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This is more than the memoir of a woman with severe clinical depression and suicidal ideation. The author is an award-winning investigative reporter with Reuters Toronto news bureau. She made a decision to to investigate the malady which afflicts her -- the history of how society has viewed mental illness, how it has been treated, the current state (or lack) of research into better treatments, and the general way that mental health issues have been handled (badly) by our society.

Her unflinching account of her struggles, combined with her journalist's view of the issues, makes for a compelling read. I listened to the audio, which was very well done.

I must admit, I Googled the author when I finished the book. What she wrote made me care about how she was doing. I wanted to make sure she was still battling on. She is alive and currently covering the sad story of the unmarked graves found at the former locations of Canadian indigenous children's schools for Reuters. ( )
  tymfos | Jun 30, 2021 |
Now here's a book I've been trying to read since it came out. A tough subject to really read about, depression is something that has haunted almost everyone at one point. Whether it's when you're younger or when you're older, whether it's because of things you don't think are that important or because of some kind of life changing event, it's debilitating, and continues to be debilitating because people just don't know that much about it, and how to treat it. And that's really just the problem with it. It's not that there's something wrong with the people that have it, it's that there's no real sure way to treat it and get rid of it.

Check out my full review here!

https://radioactivebookreviews.wordpress.com/2020/11/27/hello-i-want-to-die-plea... ( )
  radioactivebookworm | Nov 27, 2020 |
“an uncomfortably personal exploration of a sickeningly common illness no one likes talking about, one that remains under-treated and poorly treated and grossly inequitably treated in part because of our own squeamishness in confronting it or our own denial of its existence as an illness and the destruction it wreaks when left to its own devices.”
—Anna Mehler Paperny ( )
  fountainoverflows | Dec 11, 2019 |
Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me: Depression in the First Person is written by journalist Anna Mehler Paperny, and is both a story of her own personal experiences of suicidality and an in-depth journalistic exploration of depression and suicide.
The author has done her research well. The book contains information gleaned from interviews with quite a number of experts in fields relating to the topic.

The first section of the book is focused on the author’s personal experiences. She provided detailed descriptions of multiple suicides. My personal preference is for a less is more approach to details about suicide methods, but I can accept that she was trying to be totally open.

Regarding her experience on an inpatient ward after a suicide attempt, she writes:
“Surely, few groups of patients are as unpleasant by definition as those whose disease targets their brains. If it’s weird waking to find yourself in a different stranger’s care each morning, it can’t be much more pleasant to be charged with caring for a cycle of erratic nutbars with sub-optimal hygiene practices.”

She explains that she found herself wishing she had succeeded because everything that caused her to hate herself before the attempt hadn’t gone away. I’ve written about this before, and I think it’s really important to accept the reality that some people feel regret about not dying rather than regret about the attempt itself.

There were some lines that I quite liked, such as: “No one wants this crap illness that masquerades as personal failing.” Some quirky analogies made an appearance, such as likening being unable to act out suicidal thoughts to “blue balls, but for death.”
There were also some lines that just didn’t sit with me that well. Regarding drinking paint thinner as a suicide method: “I tried paint thinner. Don’t try paint thinner.” I can see the benefit of bringing a lighthearted tone to serious subjects, but for me this started to cross over into cavalier territory.

The author also observed that: “The DSM’s authors boil down diagnosis of mental illness to something resembling an online quiz: Which Disney Princess Mental Disorder Are You?” I’m not really sure how that’s useful for anything.

Paperny outlines her own experiences of treatment before moving into the more journalistic part of the book, in which she examines what science has to tells us about depression and suicide. There are descriptions of medications, psychotherapy, transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), deep brain stimulation, etamine, psilocybin, and more.
The last section of the book examines a number of different social issues that come into play, including lack of coverage for therapy, the influence of race and culture, the role of police, and involuntary committal. The author also writes about bad experiences in hospital being a major deterrent to seeking out help for suicidal ideation; this is something I see as a huge issue.
She had a bit of a different take on stigma:

“I am so tired of the word ‘stigma.’ Perhaps it once had resonance. Maybe its utterance once conjured a concrete, clearly delineated concept. But repetition has rendered it meaningless, the way a surfeit of swearing robs cuss words of their sting.” But stigma is “gross and profoundly damaging.”

What I found most challenging about this book was the length. The paperback is around 350 pages, and I would have liked to see it trimmed down a bit. The length was also an issue with the paragraphs, the sections, and some of the chapters. It’s not necessarily a major flaw in the book overall, but depression has not been kind to my concentration, and for me this was a tough read. It wasn’t that the content was hard to read; it just wasn’t chunked well enough for me.

Overall, though, I think this book offers an interesting perspective, and we certainly need to get more people talking about suicide and what we can do about it. ( )
  MH_at_home | Aug 14, 2019 |
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In her early 20s, Anna Mehler Paperny--having just landed her dream job as an investigative journalist, and with a loving family and a strong social network--nevertheless found herself spiraling into despair. A suicide attempt landed her in the intensive care unit, after her bosses found her passed out in her apartment having ingested a deadly mix of sleeping pills and antifreeze. Many more suicide attempts followed in subsequent years.   Following the dictum "know thine enemy," Anna set out to meet and interview those on the frontline of treatments. While also trying to be a good patient, Anna turned her investigative journalist's eye on the world around her--in the psych ward; as an outpatient; as a survivor, enduring the grueling ordeal of facing concerned family, friends, and coworkers; finding the right meds and therapist; and staying insured and employed. In search of answers, she interviewed leading medical experts--from psychiatrists to neurologists, brain-mapping pioneers to family practitioners--and others dabbling in strange hypotheses. Cured or not, she discovered the truth of her condition in online depression-testing and the far frontiers of brain mapping--as well as the disturbing truth about how primitive our methods remain for healing sick brains.   With courageous honesty and uncommon eloquence, Paperny's stunning memoir chronicles her firsthand experience of depression and her intrepid quest to explore what we know (and don't know) about the disease, while providing an invaluable guide to a health-care system struggling--and too often failing--to provide solutions. As fascinating as it is heartrending, as humorous as it is serious, it is a must-read for anyone touched by depression.

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