"Sh*t Towns of New Zealand" By Anonymous ( )

New Zealand has a special place in my heart, but Sh*t Towns of New Zealand contains some real laugh out loud moments and I enjoyed reading it.

The anonymous author raised a few suspicions at first (who is she/he?) but these are soon forgotten as you discover their views on the crappy towns and suburbs in New Zealand. There's a lot of 'taking the piss' going on.

Here's a snippet to set the scene from the section about Auckland on page 23:

"Iconic Landmark: The Sky Tower, a casino-owned structure shaped like a giant hypodermic needle as a tribute to the homeless junkies who sleep beneath it."

They're right too, the tower does look exactly like a hypodermic needle. Bwahahahah!

Several entries had me rushing off to Google to fact check (Shrek the Sheep, the Nick Smith squatting statue) and one of my favourites was the small town of Bulls on page 95. According to the author:

"Some time ago, some bright spark decided the best way to compensate for Bulls' blatant boringness was for every business in town to be christened with a bull-related pun. Cop shop? Const-a-Bull. Pharmacy? Dispens-a-Bull. Public toilets? Relieve-a-Bull. Brothel? Shag-a-Bull. Doctors? Cure-a-Bull. Abortion Clinic? Dispos-a-Bull."

I don't know about you, but I love this kind of pun and reading about this place made me want to visit the town of Bulls right away.

I did have a few criticisms though and thought this contained way too many references to STDs and teenage pregnancies. Some of the slights on locations seemed a little repetitive at times and readers should know it contains a lot of adult content.

Sh*t Towns of New Zealand is a great gift book or stocking stuffer for Kiwis and those with a fondness for the Land of the Long White Cloud.

Kia Ora.

* Copy courtesy of Allen & Unwin * ( )