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It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle (2016)

af Mark Wolynn

MedlemmerAnmeldelserPopularitetGennemsnitlig vurderingOmtaler
7591130,211 (3.1)6
Psychology. Self-Improvement. Nonfiction. HTML:A groundbreaking approach to transforming traumatic legacies passed down in families over generations, by an acclaimed expert in the field
 
Depression. Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brainsbut in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuitedthat traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. It Didnt Start with You builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood.
 
As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. It Didnt Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didnt Start With You is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch.
Includes a bonus PDF with diagrams and writing exercises.
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A few notes from the book:

Written Exercise #1:
Investigating Your Core Complaint
1. Focus on a problem that’s most pressing in your life right now. It might be an issue with your health, your job, your relationship—any issue that disrupts your sense of safety, peace, security, or well-being.
2. What is the deepest issue you want to heal? Maybe it’s a problem that feels overwhelming to you. Maybe it’s a symptom or a feeling you’ve had all your life.
3. What do you want to see shift?
4. Don’t edit yourself.
5. Write down what feels important to you.
6. Write it down as it comes to you. For example, you may carry a fear of something terrible happening to you in the future. It doesn’t matter what comes out; just keep writing.
7. If nothing comes, answer this one question: If the feeling or symptom or condition you have never goes away, what would you be afraid could happen to you?
8. Don’t continue reading until you’ve written down your most pressing concern.

Written Exercise #2:
Ten Questions That Generate Core Language
1. What was taking place in your life when your symptom or problem first appeared?
2. What was going on right before it started?
3. What age were you when the symptom or problem first appeared?
4. Did something traumatic happen to someone in your family at a similar age?
5. What exactly happens in the problem?
6. What does it feel like in its worst moments?
7. What happens right before you feel this way or have the symptom?
8. What makes it better or worse?
9. What does the problem or symptom keep you from being able to do? What does it force you to do?
10. If the feeling or symptom were never to go away, what would be the worst thing that could happen to you?

This book did not resonate with me, so I did not go all the way through it. ( )
  bread2u | May 15, 2024 |
Meh. I enjoy books that introduce new ideas I can integrate into my thinking. This was not one of those books. It was more of a self-help book that is supposed to change your entire mindset simply by reading its pages, but way much too simple for that ( )
  bookonion | Mar 10, 2024 |
Fascinating area of psychology. Powerful personal experience as an introduction. Lack-luster writing after that.

I wanted to engage with the writer's work and ideas but never gained traction. The data presented from researchers was already familiar, but Wolynn brought nothing original to the conversation.

Three stars because the book did prompt several deep and meaningful journaling sessions. ( )
  rebwaring | Aug 14, 2023 |
sorry for wasting my time on a few attempts to read this book. there's not much behind the clamorous title but some shady personal experience this guy is selling us as an ultimate way to get on with the traumas from the past we may have. I don't recommend this book. Personal experience is a personal experience after all. ( )
  vexierspiegel | Jan 9, 2023 |
Trauma is one of those words that instantly send a shiver up the back. Those battling PTSD and other trauma related instances know this shiver very well. Wolynn seeks to find the root of trauma and why some people experience it more than others. In this book, he traces the roots of trauma to traumas one's parents experienced as well. He argues that not only do we experience it in the womb, but also in how we were reared. If our parents had traumas, more than likely they were transferred to us so we experience trauma more easily or more abundantly. The same with our parents parents and so on. Trauma spans generations.

The book itself was well researched and the premise was well argued. At times, the writing was a bit dry, but that is expected in a book covering this topic. There isn't really a way to jazz up childhood or adulthood trauma. I would imagine a small group would get a lot out of this and I know I certainly did. The great thing to note, while reading it, is you are reading an expert on trauma. Make note of that.

I gave this one 4 stars.

*I wish to thank NetGalley and Viking for the ability to read this. It was received for free in exchange for an honest review. ( )
  Nerdyrev1 | Nov 23, 2022 |
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Psychology. Self-Improvement. Nonfiction. HTML:A groundbreaking approach to transforming traumatic legacies passed down in families over generations, by an acclaimed expert in the field
 
Depression. Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brainsbut in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuitedthat traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. It Didnt Start with You builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood.
 
As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. It Didnt Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didnt Start With You is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch.
Includes a bonus PDF with diagrams and writing exercises.

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