En sorgens dagbog : C.S. Lewis' optegnelser ved sin hustrus død (1961)

A classic and a keeper ( )

C.S. Lewis wrote this after the death of his beloved wife. Their time together was short, but it was all the more poignant because their connection was so intense. He was left wishing for all the years they might have had together. He is so honest about his pain making him question his faith.

“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.”

“Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.” ( )

Az ismert irodalomtudós és keresztény apologéta mély önreflexiói felesége halálát követően. Az őszinte önelemzés egyben az önsajnálat tagadása is. Lewis nemcsak az olvasó együttérzését nyeri meg, hanem együttműködésre is hívja mindazokat, akik elveszített szeretteik gyászával és fájdalmával küzdenek. Egy olyan belső útra, amelyen értelmet nyerhet a veszteség és a bánat valamennyi formája.

"And no one ever told me about the laziness of grief. I loathe the slightest effort. Not only writing but even reading a letter is too much. Even shaving. What does it matter now whether my cheek is rough or smooth?"

"Come, what do we gain by evasions? We are under the harrow and can’t escape. Reality, looked at steadily, is unbearable. And how or why did such a reality blossom (or fester) here and there into the terrible phenomenon called consciousness? Why did it produce things like us who can see it and, seeing it, recoil in loathing? Who (stranger still) want to see it and take pains to find it out, even when no need compels them and even though the sight of it makes an incurable ulcer in their hearts?"
( )

Orig. published (without L'Engle's foreword) London: Faber, 1961 ( )