Being single-again and trying to get back into the dating game without much success, this title caught my eye. If my lack of success is not about me, then what is it really about, anyway? I wanted to know!

This book is an offshoot of an essay Eckel wrote for The New York Times in 2011 in which she got lots of positive feedback. Let’s face it, it’s comforting to know that those of us who find ourselves in the same situation are not alone.

The original essay:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/25/fashion/sometimes-its-not-you-or-the-math-mode...

Eckel has a pretty simple answer to the question that many a single person has asked themselves: “What’s wrong with me?” Her answer: “…plenty. But that’s not the point.” She points out that we all know lots of people who managed to get hitched, despite having issues and otherwise being less than perfect. She argues that our singleness is due to chance, rather than character. She uses the rest of the book to outline 27 common reasons that we are given for our single state. A few of those include:
• “You’re too desperate.”
• “You need to be happy alone.”
• “You need to put it out to the Universe!”
• “You’re too fabulous to settle down.”
• “You suck.” (Really?!)

With each reason, she explains why the logic behind it is faulty. She shares her life wisdom in an uplifting and positive way, leaving the reader feeling more hopeful about his or her current single status.

By the way, Eckel is married, but she didn’t marry until she was 39. She’s been there, done that, and that lends credibility to her writing.

If you find yourself in this situation, I highly recommend this read. It will definitely leave you feeling more optimistic. Chances are, there is nothing horribly wrong with you! Mr./Ms. Right simply hasn’t shown up yet!
( )

I apparently live in an alternate reality than this writer (& all authors writing about the same subject) in that I haven’t experienced the vast majority of these supposed sayings to single women. I still read them looking for a glimmer of kinship, but usually I just end up feeling annoyed. Note to self: a common denominator is living in NYC (or it’s just that a lot of writers live there). ( )

It's not just for single people any more. This is actually a very helpful book for anyone who feels, or has felt, inadequate for a task at hand. Isn't that all of us? I don't like the self help genre but I do love advice columns and this could be one. The author has appeared in the New York Times "Modern Love" feature and she has some very helpful ideas to prevent you from beating yourself up for things beyond your control.

Ex) You have issues/low self esteem.

You are too intimidating/desperate/old/stuck/sad/picky/available/selfish.

Sara Eckel also has a great worldview and is very funny. But it's not all tears and laughs - there's a ton of practical ideas too, for all of us of all ages. ( )