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How to Think More about Sex (2012)

af Alain De Botton

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Serier: School of Life

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271876,358 (3.17)2
View your sex life in a different light and learn how it can make you happier. Sex is the most intimately human experience there is. It can also be the most confusing. Our desire to be together conflicts with our desire to avoid vulnerability and appear "normal", leaving us detached, desensitised or embarrassed. Covering topics including adultery, lust, pornography and impotence, Alain de Botton argues that 21st century sex will always be a balancing act of trust versus risk, and of primal desire versus studied civility. By examining sex from a subjective - rather than scientific - perspective, he uncovers new ideas on how we can achieve that balance. Pulling back the sheets on modern sexuality, How To Think More About Sex offers important and surprising wisdom that proves that being good in bed is really all in your head.… (mere)
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In the first chapter, and as a rape victim myself, I object to the phrase 'almost raped'. Where there's consent, it's not rape, it might be aggressive sex, it might be unconventional, it might be at the limit of consent, but it's not rape, nor is it almost rape.

Also, I profoundly disagree with the sentence 'Erection and lubrication simply cannot be effected by willpower and are therefore particularly true and honest indices of interest.' The first part might be true, but the second is not. It perpetuates the belief that if you are wet you must be wanting it, which is terrible logic.

For a better clarification of this, check out Emily Nagoski's TED talk on The Truth About Unwanted Arousal.

https://www.ted.com/talks/emily_nagoski_the_truth_about_unwanted_arousal ( )
  KittyCatrinCat | Aug 29, 2021 |
Alain de Botton has taken on love in several books, now he has decided to explore sex. While it raises more questions that it answers, I found that this very small volume did give some interesting insight on the corners of sex many find themselves too busy moralizing about to devote any time considering, such as pornography and infidelity. His purpose in taking seriously sex as a subject of contemplation is to provide us with different ways to see these thorny issues. Not for everyone, but I found it thoughtful. ( )
  Colleen5096 | Oct 29, 2020 |
Strikes me as a nice companion to read alongside Alan Bennett's "Smut." Both write about a sticky subject in a cheerful and thought-provoking way. ( )
  runningbeardbooks | Sep 29, 2020 |
A short, well written account of various alternative and rational views on sex, love and marriage. I would recommend this book to anyone considering any of those activities. ( )
1 stem markwhiting | Mar 21, 2020 |
ricco di spunti e riflessioni ( )
  lucaconti | Jan 24, 2019 |
Viser 1-5 af 8 (næste | vis alle)
The School of Life series is in somewhat more capable hands when its founder takes the reins. But de Botton’s latest contribution, How to Think More About Sex, brings out his worst tendencies: a tone of wry knowingness that skirts humour without ever actually being funny. The entire introduction is composed of sub-Wildean half-witticisms. On the liberation of human sexuality during the twentieth century: “Sex came to be perceived as a useful, refreshing and physically reviving pastime, a little like tennis.”

Then there is the relentless urge to lean on those who’ve proved themselves more “interesting.” To explain how sex declines within marriage de Botton writes, “repudiation of lovemaking [by a married couple] may thus be likened to a mountain climber’s or a runner’s not wishing to luxuriate in the lyricism and hypnotic grandeur of a great poem, perhaps by Walt Whitman or Tennyson, just before scaling a peak or starting a marathon.” Everything is wrong here, the logic, the assumptions, the contortions to mention Whitman and Tennyson. Not even a quote, just a shout-out to ensure that we are aware of every last volume on the author’s bookshelf.
tilføjet af jimroberts | RedigerNew Republic, Victoria Beale (Jan 3, 2013)
 

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It is rare to get through this life without feeling — generally with a degree of secret agony, perhaps at the end of a relationship, or as we lie in bed frustrated next to our partner, unable to go to sleep — that we are somehow a bit odd about sex.
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In a world in which fake enthusiasms are rife, in which it is often hard to tell whether people really like us or whether they are being kind to us merely out of a sense of duty, the wet vagina and the stiff penis function as unambiguous agents of sincerity.
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View your sex life in a different light and learn how it can make you happier. Sex is the most intimately human experience there is. It can also be the most confusing. Our desire to be together conflicts with our desire to avoid vulnerability and appear "normal", leaving us detached, desensitised or embarrassed. Covering topics including adultery, lust, pornography and impotence, Alain de Botton argues that 21st century sex will always be a balancing act of trust versus risk, and of primal desire versus studied civility. By examining sex from a subjective - rather than scientific - perspective, he uncovers new ideas on how we can achieve that balance. Pulling back the sheets on modern sexuality, How To Think More About Sex offers important and surprising wisdom that proves that being good in bed is really all in your head.

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