Every day we experience the uncertainty, risks, and emotional exposure that define what it means to be vulnerable, or to dare greatly. Based on twelve years of pioneering research, Dr. Brene Brown dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and argues that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage.

Revisiting this work and hearing [a:Brené Brown|162578|Brené Brown|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1246473726p2/162578.jpg] read/present it was an intentional choice for me at the top of this new year. I first read the work in late 2013; it remains fresh and oh so timely and helpful. ( )

9 stars: Super, couldn't put it down.

From thought leader Brené Brown, a transformative new vision for the way we lead, love, work, parent, and educate that teaches us the power of vulnerability.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; . . . who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”—Theodore Roosevelt

Every day we experience the uncertainty, risks, and emotional exposure that define what it means to be vulnerable or to dare greatly. Based on twelve years of pioneering research, Brené Brown PhD, MSW, dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and argues that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage.

Brown explains how vulnerability is both the core of difficult emotions like fear, grief, and disappointment, and the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, empathy, innovation, and creativity. She writes: “When we shut ourselves off from vulnerability, we distance ourselves from the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives.”

Daring Greatly is not about winning or losing. It’s about courage. In a world where “never enough” dominates and feeling afraid has become second nature, vulnerability is subversive. Uncomfortable. It’s even a little dangerous at times. And, without question, putting ourselves out there means there’s a far greater risk of getting criticized or feeling hurt. But when we step back and examine our lives, we will find that nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as standing on the outside of our lives looking in and wondering what it would be like if we had the courage to step into the arena—whether it’s a new relationship, an important meeting, the creative process, or a difficult family conversation. Daring Greatly is a practice and a powerful new vision for letting ourselves be seen.

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Quotes:

"What's the matter?" and she told me why she was sad. Now, at that moment, I was building trust; I was there for her. I was connecting with her rather than choosing to think only about what I wanted. These are the moments, we've discovered, that build trust. One such moment is not important, but if you're always choosing to turn away, then trust erodes in a relationship. Very gradually, very slowly.

The research team found that the act of not discussing a traumatic event - specfically rape and incest - or confiding it to another person could be more damaging than the actual event. Conversely, when people shared their stories and experiences, their physical health improved, their doctor's visits decreased and they showed significant decreases in their stress hormones.

The men and women I've interviewed fall into two groups-- those who feel a deep sense of love and belonging, and those who struggle for it - only one variable separates the groups: Those who feel lovable, who love, and who experience belonging simply because they believe they are worthy of love and belonging.

In a world where scarcity and shame dominate and feeling afraid had become second nature, vulnerability is subversive. Uncomfortable. It's even a little dangerous at times. And, without question, putting ourselves out there means there's far greater risk of feeling hurt. ( )

Vulnerability is the root of all human connection and human connection is the root of all happiness. We often fail to connect because we are ashamed we are not good enough so we don't want to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. By allowing ourselves to be more vulnerable, we create a better life for ourselves.

That's the premise of Ms. Brown's book. While, I support this premise completely, and think she has done an outstanding job of researching and identifying this dynamic, it gets only two stars because there are two glaring problems with her work--or at least her presentation of it in this book.

First, if you, like me, completely buy into her deconstruction of the shame/vulnerability phenomenon, you/'re eager to hear a cogent and actionable plan or advice on exactly how to overcome this limitation. She runs out of steam when it comes to implementation. Her advice is vague, and as my daughter put it "clichéd" and "fluffy".

Second, far more importantly, I equate her solutions to the whole "trophy for showing up" phenomenon. There is a certain point where she says that success is not about achievement but about courage.

Does she really want to fly on a plane where the pilot is satisfied that they had the courage to make it through turbulence, or does she want them to also have lots and lots of competence and experience to not only make it through turbulence alive, but also to avoid it or make an easier ride? Same with a brain surgeon or a teacher.

Courage is an important starting point, but it isn't the only measure of success.

And finally, I wonder what people who are struggling with day to day existence--immigrants, people in poverty, people in war or domestic violence etc... would think of this approach. I just don't see a maid in a hotel who is being sexually harassed by her boss and worried about ICE breaking down her door and taking her family away embracing vulnerability as a solution to her problems. ( )

This book came recommended to me by a couple of friends. It contains many great ideas and spoke to me quite a bit, and I liked how Brown talked about the ways she finds it more challenging than others to dare greatly. It really emphasized that this sort of mindset is not so much a fixed mindset as it is a *practice*, and you practise every day. I also liked her appendix on how the grounded theory behind her research works; I’ve worked with researchers who used grounded theory, so reading about Brown’s experiences brought back many fond memories of the time my team and I worked together on that research.

Some of the content was surprisingly familiar; a few of the anecdotes are used to great effect in Atlas of the Heart, which I happened to read first. Brown’s writing style in this book is occasionally repetitive in a TED Talk kind of way, which isn’t really surprising given that she gives TED Talks, but it did make me kind of slide off the writing a bit. It might also have been harder for me to take in the ideas because I was reading it in ebook form rather than print. I would like to get a print copy and read it again. It’s the sort of book that would do well as a pick-up-and-dip-into-when-you-need it kind of book. I’ll probably read the rest of her books as well. ( )