Fifty Shades Fanget

I heard so much about this book that I was curious. I put the book down in disgust, not because of the subject matter, but because it's so poorly written. ( )

Recently I heard that these were Twilight Fan-fiction, so I thought I'd try to read them again. You see, I started way back when they came out, before any movie talk. So I was, shall we say, jaded in my views. (If you knew me back then, you'd understand! Shall we say, prude?... ;) ) I was pleasantly rewarded, but not because I thought that they resembled Twilight in any way! I actually thought that some parts of this book reminded me a lot of the movie "Pretty Woman". You know, the whole "save the girl", takin' a bath, he's a rich and beautiful guy who has everything, etc... I love it! It was HOT, HOT, HOT! And the author kept my attention with a nice love story. For anyone that has heard that these were poorly written and not worth your time, I challenge you to read them and not fall in love with their story. But I do have to warn you, it is VERY GRAPHIC writing! So stay away if you're offended with profanity and sex. :D ( )

I give this one star but even though it is that bad I had to finish it just to see what happened. So the redeeming factor was that it had just enough suspense to keep reading. However, this is so badly written that I started cringing every time Ana tripped or bit her lip or referred to her inner goddess. Maybe it's the fact that I had just read Twilight and Bella exhibits almost exactly the same annoying traits, but it drove me crazy to read these same things about Ana over and over and over. Why are books so popular when the writing is so bad??? And of course, the sex is salacious enough but that didn't make it a good book, just a different than anything I typically read. ( )

There are a lot of obvious problems with this book, including financial objectification of men, emotional abuse, and a horrible and unhealthy portrayal of the BDSM lifestyle.

Honestly, that's not my biggest issue. It's awful to say this, but to get my BDSM fix I often have to ignore a lot of internalized misogyny and abuse. There's a lot I'm willing to overlook (although I wish I didn't have to) if a book can get me off.

That's my issue here. This book just isn't sexy. All of the sex was lame and there is surprisingly little sex in the book. It's mostly these two clowns fighting and doing rich people stuff. They spend most of the book talking about the contract or Christian's damaged bad boy past, like would you two bang it out already?! And when they do bang it out, the scenes are cringy. They hinge on props, instead of a true power exchange. The energy between a dominant and submissive is the sexiest thing about BDSM, not getting tied up or spanked. It's the willing exchange of power.

This book left me frustrated in the one way an erotica should not. I only kept reading because my freinds kept telling me how hot it got "later in the book." That never happened.

Lots of better BDSM erotica out there. ( )

I have had this audiobook in my iTunes for a few years, and I recently chose it to fill my drive time.

Yikes. I almost set it aside within the first 5 minutes... but I thought I'd hang in there and see if the sex was worth it. It wasn't. My feelings are perfectly described in this quote by writer Salman Rushdie: "I've never read anything so badly written that got published. It made 'Twilight' look like 'War and Peace.'"

There is plenty of well-written, provocative erotica out there, so I will not be wasting any more time on this series. ( )