Amber Tamblyn

Wow. This book! Amber Tamblyn took a hard subject and wrote an amazing book. When I came across this book I had been following the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard case. I knew men could be victimized. I was a victim of domestic violence and then took a 40 hour training. My eyes were opened during that training. I thought a lot about how we see domestic violence in this country. There were no shelters for men to go to. Fathers had no support in taking their children and going somewhere safe for even a night, just to get theirselves together. When I asked why, I was told men could afford a hotel. Some men maybe but certainly not all. If we go by that some women could afford a hotel. Pressing the issue, I was told men could go to a homeless shelter, they didn’t need to take their children with. I didn’t understand those reasons any more than they could afford a hotel. But I was encouraged by the fact that men were included in my training. Over the years, I have come across a few male victims. I listened to them and tried to help. I always felt there were many more, the silent ones. This book is not about domestic violence. It is about victims of sexual crimes.
When I read the synopsis of this book, I was extremely curious. It was written by a female, an actress. I wondered how she would handle men as victims. Very few believed Johnny Depp. I didn’t hear all of Hollywood supporting him. I still don’t in the face of staggering evidence. So I was very interested in what Amber Tamblyn had to write.
She wrote a searing, can’t put down, novel. I thought she did a phenomenal job portraying the victims. The pain and the shame they lived with, all the victims. The bravery of the male victims in speaking out. It is a very thought provoking book. A book we should be reading and talking about. I don’t think it will be in most book clubs though. The subject matter is not one we openly talk about. It’s still the dirty secret. It needs to be spoken about. Victims are victims. They need support. They need to be believed.
We say we want equality but doesn’t that mean we want the rules to be the same regardless of sex, race or religion? Doesn’t that mean we need to accept that a victim can be any one of us? The perpetrator can be any one of us? This book has the potential to open up dialogue about supporting victims. Women, men, adult, child, any race or religion. In her use of different men, including a male child, Ms Tamblyn brings this message home. Her final victim plays an important part in this. We need to start accepting, start supporting, start talking and find the solution to start healing all the victims. Read this book. Think about it. Talk about it.… (mere)