Sarah Saffian

I find it difficult writing reviews of memoirs - because assuming that the writer of the book achieves a basic satisfactory level of writing skill - and I review the story - well - aren't I reviewing the person and the life of the person who wrote it?

It makes me a little uncomfortable to say anything unflattering - especially about someone who went through a life experience that I haven't come close to experiencing.

That all being said. Here goes - my reaction to this book.

I read about this book more than 10 years ago. I actually think I might have caught the author promoting it on a talk show. It was so long ago - that besides having it on my to-read all those years - I couldn't remember more than what the title revealed. That it was a memoir about a woman who was "found" by her birth parents.

On the whole I found her story to be really interesting. I was curious what would happen next and wanted to know how things worked out for everyone in her family.

What I didn't like was the relentless introspection by the author. I can't understand how she could draw out the events the way she did if there wasn't some element of her wanting to punish her birth parents by doing so. I felt like it was dishonest with her literally musing over every way that this reunion was negatively impacting her life - her consideration for what her actions were doing to other people was so slight it distracted me throughout the reading.

I think since I am a mother myself - I can understand the overwhelming desire of her birth parents to see her and reunite and the undiminished love they felt for her. Her constant questioning of them on this point was tiresome to me. I have to wonder if she is now a mother - in the light of having her own children - if it makes her more sympathetic to them in retrospect.

I also at points wondered (probably uncharitably) if the author, who was already working in publishing/journalism when these events began to unfold might have manipulated their slow progression via correspondence because she could see that it had the makings of a book. I know its not nice to wonder such things.. but she is smart - and it really does seem a stroke of luck to have all that documentation in her lap.

Okay. Enough of that. Its a good book. The people resonate for better or for worse. I think if you have an interest in the subject matter - its worth a read.… (mere)