Susan Parker

Some readers might find this story depressing, but I found it funny, inspirational, and wise - because it was such familiar territory. Like Susan Parker with her husband, my journey began in the same Highland Hospital Emergency Room in Oakland, California except that in my case the victim was my brother. What Susan quickly learned, as did I, is that there are two victims in these tragedies: the one receiving emergency treatment, and the other who has to cope with years of ongoing care. Susan - and I - were plunged into a chaotic world of unexpected kindness and unspeakable suffering. What makes the book so good is that she describes the third world underground subculture of caregivers and con men who you come to rely on, sometimes in a most intimate manner. Unlike Susan, I didn’t sleep with the help, but I respect her choice and admire her honesty. It's like an adventure in a foreign land. You come to know and love caregivers who are of entirely different cultures, backgrounds, world views, and attitudes toward the law. You learn total humility and sometimes lose all dignity. You cope. You laugh. You love. It's a great book without self-pity, astonishingly clear-eyed and direct.… (mere)