Ellen Graf

First know this: it isn't all light-hearted fun. True, there are darling, funny moments when you can go "Aawww" at Zhong-hua's antics, and I will be the first to admit that he is indeed an endearing guy. However, Ellen Graf's take on her marriage to a man with limited English from a world very different from her own is very realistic and oftentimes harsh. Zhong-hua's struggles to become acclimated to a country that to him makes no sense most of the time has your heart aching. He struggles to learn proper English, he has a hard time finding long-term employment, and people are often very harsh with him because they don't understand his intentions. Then there's the matter of his health, and the invasive surgeries, and still, the man keeps picking himself up. Zhong-hua is a realist, but he also appears to be an optimist.

Marriage is hard work. Ellen and Zhong-hua's marriage is no different. I laughed out loud more than once (the deer incident had me reading aloud to B. in bed, and we both had a great big belly laugh afterwards), but by the middle of the book I realized that Ellen is speaking from the heart about those that endure many hardships and keep striving to win. It doesn't matter that we don't know what the prize at the end will be. It's that we keep striving to try to enjoy life with "hearts of fire."… (mere)

I received this book through the Early Reviewers program here on LibraryThing. I have read most of it and plan to finish reading it when I can locate it among the huge number of books I have here at home. I love it thus far and will be delighted to finish reading it and will post a much more complete review at that time.

What an interesting and amusing memoir of an American woman from upstate New York and a Chinese man she meets through a friend here in the United States. She travels to China to meet him in person, spends a few days getting to know him and then, boom, marries him. He moves to live with her in the US and though they want very much to be together, he has much to learn about the culture of the everyday life in America and she has much to learn about the Chinese way of thinking about and living with your marriage partner. Poignant and funny experiences bring them closer together even as they are mystified by each other.

I recommend this book even though I have temporarily "lost" it. When it is found it will be welcome home and read and kept for a re-read.… (mere)

I didn't find any warm fuzzies or even the hint of genuine passion here. Not to say that they didn't (don't) feel it, but the pages between the covers did not portray it to me. And, I didn't find any humor either. What I did find was a tangent-driven report of two lonely people who decided to make a life together.

I feel like Ellen compromised much more of herself in order to accommodate her Chinese man than he did for her. It's certainly her choice to do so, but it didn't make for a very enjoyable read. I'm not sure if Zhong-hua's lack of manners or insensitivity were apart of the Chinese culture or if they were just Zhong-hua himself, but they were peculiar to say the least. The best part was learning about Zhong-hua's experiences growing up under Mao.

I wish Ellen and Zhong-hua all my best as they continue to grow together.

Originally posted on: Thoughts of Joy… (mere)