Tom Braden (1917–2009)

I recently watched some of the first season of Eight is Enough, on DVD. Of course I decided to look for more information, and when I did, I found that the show was based on a book; this book.

Overall, I was amazed at how accurately the show portrayed each of the 10 people it depicts. As I read the book, I was continually astonished that the voices in the book were the ones that I knew from the show. I think that's pretty amazing.

Tom Braden says, "I look back on those days and I am grateful to my children because they made me happy nevertheless and "nevertheless," I have always thought, is the only way a human being ever knows what happiness is."

It became clear to me, as I read this, that the same travails we face today have always plagued people, though perhaps in slightly different forms: birth control, sex outside of marriage, gun control, long hair on boys, and the rising cost and presumed necessity of college for everyone.

I must say, though, Tom had a much tougher time parenting his 8 children than we have had with our 5, or than my parents had with the 6 of us. His children slept with people at young ages, stole his liquor, lied about car accidents. Oh, I know that parenting is hard. I know that we can't control children once they have grown to a certain point of autonomy. I do wonder though, why his kids seemed to rebel as strongly as they did. I find it surprising, given that David and I do not hover over our children any more than he did. He says, "there is a time in the life of a man and a woman, between childhood and adulthood, between desire and the ability to cope with it, between wanting something and deciding to earn it, when the human being, physically grown and emotionally childish, is a very dangerous animal. ...This truth that the animals will change into human beings again. ...It happens almost literally overnight."

He found it necessary to eventually withhold money from his children, in an attempt to encourage their maturity. Sigh. Those first few steps into adulthood are always difficult.

He expressed an understanding that life steals the joy of some people. He understood that standardized testing wasn't a fair way to evaluate a person's future abilities (and it still isn't.)

Toward the end of his book Tom said, "my heart had suddenly swollen with that fire of pride and affection, protectiveness and hope which is, I now reflected, what makes a father go on being a father. What is a father for?"

This book made me realize that I've read many books about parenthood but most...or quite possibly all of them have been from a mom's point of view. I think it is important to hear from dads about parenting. I know my 5 siblings and I feel that our dad was and is more involved than most dads. I am sending him a copy of this book.… (mere)

Eight Is Enough by Tom Braden has been re-released by Open Road Media in the eBook format. This is a highly recommended, nostalgic look-back at parenting in the early 70's. Although many things in the book are dated now, the original book was published in the mid-seventies, it still provides many amusing anecdotes and practical parenting advice, as well as some personal opinions. Just as the TV show, Braden does address some serious concerns he had at the time, including drugs, alcohol, and premarital sex, along with more amusing stories. Admittedly, there is a lot of name dropping in the book. It's hard to say if this was intentional or simply a reflection of the life the Braden's lived.

Many people will recall the popular TV show of the same title and loosely based on Braden's book. Parents are Tom and Joan (only in the TV show stepmother Abby appeared very quickly since the original actress playing Joan died after 4 episodes). The eight children are: David, Mary, Joannie, Susan, Nancy, Elizabeth, Tommy, and Nicholas. Tom Braden actually lived a rather colorful, interesting life, but was played, as I recall, as a rather affable and agreeable advice-giver on the TV show. The show did tackle some tough, timely issues but naturally things were solved quickly.

There were several interesting quotes, but I'll only share three.

The first was Mother's Rule, meaning Braden's mother: "The 'good' books we force upon the young in contravention of our knowledge that the purpose of the young is to contravene. Therefore, learning must be secret and illegal. If you really want a child to read something, there is only one way: Hide it." My mother insisted that nobody had ever tried her rule. But I have. It works. I hide the 'good' books, or I put them on the highest shelves.

"I think the deans of our colleges have yielded too easily. Respect, consideration, thoughtfulness and kindness, privacy and forbearance are still virtues worth inculcating. And when they fall before the strength of the new sexual morality, style loses meaning and, I should think, college dormitories become barns. I’m sure I sound old-fashioned."

"There is a time in the life of a man and a woman, between childhood and adulthood, between dependence and responsibility, between desire and the ability to cope with it, between wanting something and deciding to earn it, when the human being, physically grown and emotionally childish, is a very dangerous animal."

Disclosure: My review copy was courtesy of Open Road Media.
http://www.shetreadssoftly.com/2017/06/eight-is-enough.html
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2040203072… (mere)

This book was the basis of the tv show "Eight is Enough" which I loved and watched every week. It was the about the trials and tribulations of having eight kids. The show, according to this book, did a very good portraying this family.

There were some funny stories. I loved the telegram from RFK to Tom Braden that said "you win." meaning that Tom had eight kids and RFK only had seven at that time.

A fun, enjoyable read that had me on IMDB looking up the cast of characters and seeing what had become of all those kids. A real trip down memory lane.

Thanks to Open Road Integrated Media and Net Galley for providing me with a free e-galley in exchange for an honest, unbiased review.… (mere)